For those Jalops who don’t know about Fancy Kristen, go do some reading. Can we please not let this tongue in cheek article devolve into yet another “I can buy a 6000 sq foot house with 14 garages and 138 acres for the cost of that Manhattan parking space”?

everyone knows fancy kristen doesnt stay in NYC in august.

But don’t worry!

Isn’t that basically Baked Ziti?

I can’t wait for the unholy quality trinity that is Chinese/American/Italian.

The blue wave was apparent up and down the ballot on a banner night for the county’s Democrats.

Can you not right now? Texas is a purple state that goes red because it’s gerrymandered to hell and back. It’s also home to Houston, the most diverse major city in the country, which is also getting hit the hardest.

Took this this morning outside my complex. That bird is sitting on a fence over 7ft tall that’s on grass about 3-4 ft above the water.

Can I make one request? If even one small part of you is hoping for Trump to botch the response to Harvey, stop.

Unfortunately not. He’s doing it because 10 State Attorney Generals (including soon-to-be felon TX AG Ken Paxton) sent a letter saying that if Trump doesn’t end DACA on his own, they will file suit in TX (likely with the same judge who struck down DAPA) to end DACA. They gave Trump until September 5th, which is why…

I find it incredibly hard to put into words just how awful it would be to end DACA. I have a number of friends who have DACA and it keeps me up at night thinking about what might happen to them if DACA is taken away. The short thing is that they, along with 800,000 others will lose their job, either immediately or…

The problem down here in Florida is that the average age of the drivers of Scion B’s is well past the retirement age. I have yet to see anyone driving down the road with a driver younger than 55.

That’s good fodder for Torch’s Grand Encyclopedia of Turn Indicators.

I’d work at Fox News. Call me a sellout.

As a black Subaru driver, me when I see another black Subaru driver:

**inserts quote about Beyonce being Queen and ‘yaaasss’**

The best part about a first-generation xB is that when you feed and water it correctly, it will sprout and grow into a Ford Flex.

Butternut squash is fucking delicious and more people should know it.*

My stepdad was a former heavyweight boxer who used to beat me with weightlifting belts and knives when I didn’t perform chores well enough. I never saw him hit my mom, but I suspect he did. The last time I saw him alive, I told him if he hit my 2 year-old sister again I was going to kill him. A freak accident took him…