What's he going to do? Demand the bank hand over all their debt?

Not laugh?

Oh, do go on, Alec.

I need a job at the Gay Department of Justice. Where should I send my resume?

Alec Baldwin is less sad if you imagine Jack Donaghy saying the things that come out of his mouth.

"I won't be in tomorrow, Lemon, I'm being subpoenaed by the Gay Department of Justice."

Good. I'm tired of Jezebel telling me she's my "BFF".

I would love to be able to take a year off on a whim. Alas, I'd be lucky to get a week without my boss side-eyeing me for taking earned vacation time.

Um, she's an actor, not a human rights campaigner: doing "American Hustle" wasn't exactly working with Palestinian refugees in Lebanon. She wants to take a break, cool - but don't act like she's in the running for a Nobel Peace Prize for all of her sacrifice (most actors would love to be in the position of working on…

Even to me at age 10 or so I could sense how disproportionate and odd it was.

And George Washington Carver. For some reason in my (90%+ white) school they were just enamoured with George Washington Carver. Like he was the only important figure in black history besides civil rights leaders.

True story: until I got to college I thought Malcom X was pronounced "Malcom the Tenth" and he was one of the popes. I had a vague idea he was black, and also a vague idea that it would be weird that a pope would be black, but I really didn't bother to think too much about it.

What strikes me as odd is how boilerplate the essay is. It literally could have been written by any socially conservative, middle-aged woman at any time over the past forty years. There is nothing remotely new here. That she felt a need to speak up in the WSJ about this issue and that WSJ editors thought that would…

Like you?

What is it with farm animals these days? Are we cows or sheep!?? Or pigs!?!?

I think these kinds of articles speak a lot to how women like this see men. Even going beyond the milk/cow metaphor problem that was addressed in the comments already, she thinks that her perfect husband will only marry her when she's in her 20s. If she is the exact same person but 35, her dream man won't want her.…

Yeah, this whole idea that women should withhold sex so that men are forced into marrying them if they want to get laid (because why else would a man ever want to commit to a relationship, amirite?) is fucked up and pretty insulting to both men and women. It sounds like one of those shitty PUA tactics where they're…

Trying to buy pretty girls with expensive dinners doesnt work, does it?

Ringworm has a 10-14 day incubation period

After my divorce, I decided to try online dating. After chatting with a few guys, I narrowed down my pool to two. I went out with each of them, and felt meh on the one, so the other got a second date. He asked me to meet him in the parking lot of a church on a popular strip. I get there, and he's all excited and…

Met girl on OKC. Cute. Nerdy. Funny. Interesting. We start talking on the phone, and within ten minutes she's telling me about how Obama is a secret muslim planted into the White House by Al Queda, which is really a front for the Illuminati, who just stages the election to keep the sheep distracted anyways. NOOOOOOOPE.