I also attended the University of Not-Michigan. Our motto was "We take things lying down."

This is Michigan. Some might call Michigan arrogant, some might hate on us for having higher standards that most.

Come on. It's "Hey Jude." Are you kidding?

I am pretty sure that sign is a simple warning to not take a copy of Leaves of Grass into the bathroom.

Yeah, maybe at the wedding she will have a .400 BAC that would be awesome bro!

If you've ordered a Hugging Mattress and can't wait for it to be delivered, just dig a hole in the backyard next time you need a babysitter, and stick the baby right in! Also suitable: a shoebox.

That baby shoved in the little slot is freaking hysterical. You could just stick babies in there like you do your rings in the slots in a jewelry box.

As a single person I want a mattress that facilitates sleeping face-down starfish style, but with a face opening, like a massage table. Perfect stomach sleeping; no crick in the neck. Plus, I could keep a stash of candy and cheese under the bed and eat it directly through the face opening. That would be better than…

Sienna Miller and her gay husband are adorable!

I watched 27 seconds of this and then said, "I get it." in a disgusted voice aloud to myself.

I feel like I'm watching some sexual subliminal messages shit. The song doesn't help much.

No one knows what the mice are eating after the scientists leave.

plus their faces are all smoooooshed and weird from strainin through that ole birthing canal...

i mean... can't we all agree that newly born mammals, while tiny, are not so much adorable as terrifying translucent sacks of potential adorableness?
that baby panda needs like...another two weeks to be actually adorable. but then WHOA he'll be soooo aodrable

North Dakota is just crawling with Mossad agents

Don't ever go near a kitchen. For the love of all that is holy.