Neither is great, but there needs to be some kind of balance here, and I think these limits don't represent a reasonable balance. Basically what they're saying is "we can't be trusted to keep your money safe, so we're going to pass our irresponsibility on to you, in the form of inconvenience!" We've already been…

Hm, nah, still going to go with punitive, though you're proving yourself an excellent shill for Chase. It's certainly punitive if, for example, I want to be generous at the holidays and take my co-workers out for drinks at the bar we like best nearest our office, which happens to be cash-only. There are 7 of us, and…

This was hilarious, but didn't it seem kind of weird, since the cast members were doing the sketch under their own names, that Kate McKinnon apparently needed to pretend to be straight for the sketch?

Actually, what you could probably do is simply go to the teller to make a larger withdrawal during bank hours, which is what everyone used to do before ATMs, but that's not really the point. Nor is using a credit card "like a normal person," which is an entirely different troublesome argument. You shouldn't HAVE to…

WOW. I would say that so strictly limiting customers' access to THEIR OWN MONEY is not a great way to hang on to customers, but they probably know from experience that it won't make that much difference, since switching banks is a pain. This is one reason it's a good idea to keep a decent chunk of "emergency" cash in…

The flask part makes it amazing, though.

Owiee! Yeah, whisker burn is not fun (on one's face or...otherwise). I can see why you made that leap.

My husband has excellent soft lips, but I will admit that they've never once tasted like Lipsmackers. I should start pushing that agenda.

For some reason, any time a heterosexual woman kisses another heterosexual woman in this context, they seem obliged to refer to the other as having "soft lips." I always wondered about the lips of the men that these poor women were ordinarily kissing, and then finally deduced that this means "her mouth was not…

Man, seriously, how many times have I said to myself that this city would be a much better place if only it were a little more hospitable to rats?

REHAB HER IMAGE. Excellent. This wouldn't be the circus it is if she hadn't been publicly choked by her husband, and yet she admits to using cocaine a handful of times in her life and now SHE's the one in need of an image rehab.

Is that a slur that people actually even use? I grew up in a Mizzou family, and I can't remember actually being around someone who referred to KU as the "Gayhawks." Though I heard plenty of other shit being talked about KU. (On the other hand, it's not like it takes a particularly clever jerk to come up with that, so…

Ai ai ai. Funny and somehow also tragic.

She "went ahead and had one"...for herself?

Ha—aren't you ever tempted to just say, "oh wait, HOLD UP, GIRL." I didn't know you were waiting for an occasion to dance! That reframes things for me. Let me give this another think."?

Yes...I think the other thing that happens is that Thanksgiving is a time when you might take your boyfriend home to be with your family, and he takes the occasion to ask your dad "for your hand", and that then lines up with the whole present-buying/holiday-surprise business of the following weeks.

Fair enough. But certainly both are better than DRY burgers?

hamburgers.

So this guy has three kids under 5 and is prioritizing his fantasy draft above amassing enough cash (or credit!) to handle a $6000 emergency, and his WIFE is the irresponsible one in the family???

So talented and such an absolute pro. An absolute treasure.