Nothing I love more than these #MAGA dipshits dropping the tired “derp, I can’t do it at my job” arguments. Hey, choads, there are a few small differences between what this guy does and your shitty fucking job. A few which spring to mind:

Imagine for a moment, that you are a female civil rights activist in Putin’s Russia. Now, you know that no matter what you do, if you actually succeed in your goal of drawing attention to the horrendous state of human rights in your country, you are going to go to jail. And you will be abused. And you may never get…

My favorite Hawk catchphrase is when he’s silent for 5 straight minutes after the Sox get screwed out of a win or blow a save, or when he’s running out of the booth to go check on Todd Frazier

My favorite Hawk catchphrase is when he’s silent for 5 straight minutes after the Sox get screwed out of a win or blow a save, or when he’s running out of the booth to go check on Todd Frazier

*Scans list of best catch phrases*

“I, a highly paid white* man, do not like playing a game for shitloads of cash because this particular beautiful stretch of countryside is not as much to my liking as some other beautiful stretch of countryside”. Cry me a river there Brad, Chad, etc.

It’s true. Cougars will destroy you if they get you on your back.

Lol, did people expect an 80+ (90+?) year old nun to have nuanced takes on amateurism and the NCAA? A lot of old people have garbage opinions. An awful lot of old people who devoted their live to the Catholic Church have garbage opinions.

Foster had seven stops and one H&R Block.

Touch of Greyscale

A 15 year old boy died in the shooting by holding the door closed while the shooter fired into the door. The young man was holding the door closed to stop the shooter from entering the room and killing a group of students who hid there. A 15 year old boy willingly gave up his own life to save others.

I really wish somebody would just shoot Wayne LaPierre in his mother fucking face.

Look, German is a Mexican-American who speaks Spanish who competes in a sport dominated by Scandinavians. I don’t really understand cross-country skiing because it’s all Greek to me…

One ended up in Sacramento.

“Hey, who was the Mexican who finished last?”

I also grew up in a home for retarded children run by my parents. It was just me and my brother.

“He takes a shit on The Beatles. (“...They were the worst musicians in the world.”) He takes an even bigger shit on U2:”

The power of small-town football to completely dominate local politics and people never ceases to amaze me. As someone who played high school sports, I have no fucking clue how towns idolize sloppy, amateur football played by teenagers. If you’re over the age of 18 and don’t have a family member involved and aren’t a…

Look, some women can be the most ardent supporters of an oppressive patriarchal system. Pam has survived in spite of/by virtue of her physical attributes all her life and can’t see the forest for the trees.

“We don’t know exactly what we’re doing.”