Does it come with the flat brimmed hat too?

Maybe it's due to his low tire pressure ...

Sullivan's final wish is to be buried in a convoluted plot.

Is your slogan, "at least it's not Philly, cause that place totally blows"?

Woman in coffee shop: Um... I would like a tall black coffee.... also um... does the coffee have like wheat gluten in it...

I just hope there is Oprah brand honey.

I was really hoping this was a combo of Sex and Contortionist. Woh woh.

I appreciate the feel good hit of the summer. Oh yeah.

Let's be honest. All these numbers and odds are moot because, just like every other year and pool, this will be won by someone's wife who picked the cutest team names.

KINJAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Why was the Burger King abandoned AND unlocked?

You can totally hear Nelson in that one!

I would like to point out the overwhelming support of IPAs in the comments. Nobody is defending pumpkin ale. That's because you're right: it blows.

More insightful input from Portland, everyone. Thank you again Portland.

I remember my first beer. Also stop eating sweatsocks, regardless of cleanliness.

This thing is broken. I selected a Pumpkin Ale and it didn't even suggest that I try cutting out my tongue and flushing it down the toilet.

You do whatever it takes to go home. It might be snowing but so long as she didn't break your legs, you aren't trapped. Invent a fucking jet pack and fly home for christ's sake.

...the nerve to try and task my wife to help fix this abortion

He was actually just a seat filler so they could give the impression they had a