Not to be outdone, King's former client called up Jill Martin to clarify that "pigeons" is a racial epithet he uses for Mexicans.

Add those 9 seconds to D'Antoni's 7 seconds or less and what do you get? Every Rick Pitino joke.

Pictures: the entire wave at a Rays game next season.

Notice that everything is expressed in the subjunctive. This is where LeBron always gets into trouble.

Are you fucking high?

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but a Kidz Bop cover of "Moves Like Jagger" sounds like Big Fun to me.

Also taunted by a Jackson with a big head? Mid-19th century Native Americans.

I'd rather watch two dogs blowing two cats than tune in.

I hope you're not making a joke b/c I love that show.

For what it's worth, I went to law school with Valerie Jarrett's daughter and she was/is a very good looking girl. Not sure how that affects the calculation, but I'm sure it comes into play.

What We Talk About When We Talk About This Michael Vick Cracka

/sees item 10

This was mostly because I was full of pulled pork and M&M's

Five bucks, for THAT. IT IS THE GREATEST VALUE IN THE HISTORY OF SHITFACED MOUTH-STUFFING.

And did he sit in a dark room like a dipshit and brood over it? NO. He reacted like a MAN. A man who likes dancing shirtless with other men.

while it's not necessarily fair that James [Harden] is the NBA's go-to villain, it's not unexpected.

TEDDY BEAR KISSKAKKE!

I'm not crushing vegetables by any means

How many of AJ's contributions to Deadspin were worthwhile? Just the (acid) trip

[Inset generic joke about the lack of WPS fans here, preferably employing a specific number in the single digits]