Most fairy tales are pretty fucked up, given that they started out as cautionary adages. It’s just that Beauty and the Beast has managed to make it through to the current century more or less intact in comparison to the more watered-down versions of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty that we have today. Sleeping Beauty, in…

No, there is no plans to eat the woolly mammoths, unfortunately.

Fuck yeah, it would be honorable to go out trying to put a saddle on a T-Rex

Work on dodos and passenger pigeons and rhinos and manatees and tigers and cheetahs, science! We can back burner the mammoth for a bit.

Yes, so far as I’m aware, species that go extinct tend not to have evolved with their habitat, and even though we humans are drastically speeding the process, and perhaps preventing some adaption. (Aside from stuff we hunted to death like the Buffalo, but they’d have lost grazing land to our farming cattle, I suspect.)

The Great Auk, too.

I’d rather die Jurassic Park style than the current impending nuclear winter style. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s a good way to put it. It would be like a park for creatures from the Jurassic period. Will need to come up with a catchy name to convey that.

Republicans are trying to gut the endangered species act (today they’re voting on a repeal that lets you shoot wolves from helicopters again), so maybe this dark animal necromancy can be practically helpful in the short term.

If we can do this then there is a better chance we can save near extinct species that are around now. We could save tigers and the rhinos.

Nah it’ll be totally fine. We’ll put them on a tropical island where they can’t escape. Not that it matters because what, the raptor is going to figure out how to open a door? I don’t think so. Maybe we could even generate some revenue for research to bring back other dinosaurs by letting people pay to come check out…

So Mammophants are also flying cars?

I feel like we’ve literally been about two years from a Mammoth-Elephant hybrid for the last 20 years.

Tasmanian Tiger too

I wish they would bring back the Dodo. It makes me so sad that stupid humans wiped out a whole species because they were not used to anyone being mean to them

There was a guy in my tutorial for Bio 101 back in 2001 and he was pretty much only there to learn how to make a dinosaur and I bet he’s REALLY excited right now.

Adele is very good at what she does, but what she does is more predictable than an episode of “NCIS.”

I star this because of the genius because the thought makes me cringe. That fucking song was so overplayed that I twitch and scream No and change the station to this day when I hear it on the radio. Same goes for fucking “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing.”

Right? Like, I didn’t think he could come off as more of a tool than he already is yet, here we are.

omg it’s so bad