Minecraft will also teach them to expect money for nothing and chicks for free.

Buncha bullshit. Back in my day, our games all involved shooting Russians.

My contribution here... I had 3 daughters... my youngest at the time was 6. 4th kid, and finally i get a son.

Obligatory:

Cross necklace that no one (except my wife) ever sees and is under my shirt 99% of the time... Yay or nay?

Bam. This is a playset.

fuck it, smash bros ALONE makes WiiU worth it.

I saved up my Christmas and Birthday money, bought this and 2 games, and then they promptly went out of business.

I think this counts as a toy, yes?

I'd rather get shit on by my kid every day for the next 5-6 years until he starts school (he's 3 months old) than have to pay $1,020.00 per month for daycare, which I am currently doing.

When I was on the table the doctor asked if I had any questions before he started. I said yes, I wanted to know if it was true that one of the possible side effects of the procedure was sterility. He just stared at me for a couple of seconds and then said, uh, yes. Maybe not the best time to confuse the guy about…

If you're under 30, come talk to me in ten years.

Because most people (I'll include myself) are stupid and set themselves up to fail by having unrealistic expectations of what a lifetime commitment REALLY means. And it doesn't mean always being happy or deserving to be. That's some shit the baby boomers narcissistically believed and passed on to the younger…

Its not a vacation! Its a quest, a quest for fun!

Disney World is the best thing in the world for parents.

It'd be an impregnable bastion of software, like the F-35.

America "oppressed" Communists? Communists are responsible for genocides that make Hitler look like a part-timer, they respect zero human rights, and their crimes against humanity continue unabated today wherever their ideology still exists. Communists are literally the worst people in the world, and yet here in the…

So I'm not even going to try to get into all of the complicated socio-political implications and problematic mindset and offensive things people feel about these techniques and workshops since that could take up an undergrad thesis and just jump to the smattering of "tips" and "tricks" I've learned and collected from…

I'll never let my son forget the time we were invited to a party for one of his pre-school classmates. We had never met this little girl's parents. Apparently my son shared first and last names with some other kid whose parents were high up on the social ladder in a particular part of town. When we arrived and I…

I realize this is probably the Deadspin community's cup of tea, but there's a really easy place to make adult friends: church.