“Liability tank tops are $5.99!”

To his credit, he spoke the language of the 18-25 year old. When he was starting out it was enjoyable, here was a writer whose joy of sports was clearly evident and he liked to argue for arguments sake. His style was fun.

This assumes there are no shitty writers at Deadspin. Assume nothing.

I was 14 and walking home from band practice at night, full of nasty pizza and bad weed. Just could not keep it together until I got home. I could feel it crowning for at least a couple of blocks and all of a sudden it hit like the hammer of an angry god. At least I was able to make it into a wooded area where I could…

Two Sunday nights ago. I was leaving the Yankees/Sox game and thought I could hold it for the 2 hour train ride. I got full on nachos and beer all night, so things were rumbling. Needless to say I thought I could let a silent one slip on the train, only to feel that wet, warm feel we all know. This happened no more…

Sausage Egg McMuffins. I’d have a drive-thru built into my hallway closet, so I could just open the door and be handed a white bag with 2 sandwiches every morning as I made my way from bedroom to kitchen.

32) Getting hit by a bus

This really won’t help the notion that Chip Kelly isn’t trying to make the Eagles completely Ducks-oriented.

Horatio Sanz could be heard laughing from Section 410, Row 14

was that last paragraph a tweet by mcnabb?

Note to self: call Ashley Judd Ashley Juggs from now on

I haven't seen this many upset Kentuckians since their state Board of Education ruled you couldn't buy your GED with possum skins

Got to love that deep in this act of disobedience he still properly signals his left turn.

One cheek on the seat.

This comment is sweet too.

Those kids at the back of the bus need to quiet the hell down or I'm pulling over, making them put up their windows and turning the heat on.

Unfortunately, Plea Deal is actually the name of one of his victims.

9 out of 11 internet experts agree.