I am just here to see all the bandwagon jumpers, front runners, and people who actually blew Jim Zorn in the SeaTac long-term parking lot hash this all out.

Amherst, Massachusetts. FTFY. Sure there are the Pats fans from inside 495 who go to UMASS, but the locals give two fucks about any sports other than ultimate frisbee and lesbian farming.

I resemble this comment, but I am no longer belligerent. Doctor’s orders.

All the stars.

Fact: family chattel laws only came off the books in Tennessee in 1977. Until then, men had the legal right to do as the pleased with their property AKA wife and kids.

Driver cuts my Hungarian grandfather off on the NJ Turnpike circa 1979.

Grandfather <out window of the Travelall>: “You drive like old people fuck!”

Me <to self>: “I am never forgetting that one.”

“ That lawless target range of a state is the only joint that would even consider having them.”

OK. Again, Virginia has a law against everything and two laws against most things. In Virginia, there is a law called “Curse and abuse.” That’s right: if you give your best friend who is drunk, puking, and bawling in your…

You should be able to pay a fee in advance. That’s what I did. Caught a flat and got a wheel. He took down my dossard number and that was that.

Being accused of being a Patriots fans is libelous?

What is Magary’s thing about poop? He likes to write about it. Do you encourage it? Funbag always has a poop story. I find them funny, but it seems that Magary just loves to get those emails. My pet theory is that four years in Maine did something to regress him back to his anal developmental stage. That’s…

I just moved from Jersey to Massachusetts. My property tax dropped by 2/3 and I don’t have to decide between “Cars Only” and “Cars, Trucks, and Buses” ever again. I do have to put up with Massholes. I might just cave and bandwagon jump the Pats. Who cares? Really? If you tell people you are Jets fan here, they just…

“Stranger Things” is filmed in Georgia, not Indiana.

Ball joints on any Subie are a regular checkpoint on maintenance. They are an absolute motherfucker to replace without silver sword and black rooster, unless you’ve hacked together a pullout tool or found one on the Internet for sale. They are like chicken teeth rare for the real tool. I just got a short length of…

There is nothing like listening to the morning crew on WEEI get schooled on politics by callers who want to talk sports but, because John Dennis can’t help himself, they troll so much for Trump and the callers have to deal with it. Weekly, they have Schilling on and AhYup him for 30 minutes. Seriously, Schilling is…

What was good about that burn was not just the accuracy of the description, but that it was slid in there among the platitudes. Soupy Sales smiles in Hell.

Simmons just beat your dog to death. For exercise.

Life long Eagles fan here. Reggie White was a scumbag who ran a “gospel of prosperity” church ripping off little old ladies in Knoxville, TN. Fuck him with the Statue of General Neyland.

Wednesday lunch at my first job out of college was on the regional Veep for management. Three martinis, minimum. Wednesday was also the same day that at 3PM, after lunch, my primary duty was scheduling all empty shipping containers for dead head to places where they were needed. It was a puzzle wrapped in an enigma…

I boned the Mister, but point taken.

Former pool guy here: You can’t just put algaecide in it. The pool will then be milky white with dead algae. You have to add a power flocculant to the system and then the pool can’t be used for 24 hours while the dead algae drop to the bottom where they can be vacuumed up. The only solution is to drain the pool…