Dude, monorails put Brockway, Ogdenville, AND North Haverbrook on the map.

He probably got it from riding on the Monorail.

My girlfriend’s sister had mono when we were all in college. I was terrified I’d get it because my girlfriend was the super jealous type and she would have accused me of kissing her sister or something. And the last thing I’d want is my girlfriend yelling at me because then my wife would find out.

Y'know, I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored.

Lucky him, it’s better than being on the field while the Jets will be going 0-6.

Which would you really rather have when you grow up?

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Last September, according to a timeline of events provided by the Anchorage School District, a swim team parent went so far as to take photos of the teenager at a swim meet and then send them to others

This read like a article in an anthropological journal about some uncontacted tribe in the Amazon. 

It’s extremely frustrating how if anyone takes any stance on firearms other than completely unfettered access to every firearm ever conceived, you are “ANTI-GUN.”

I don't know who is saying the former of those sentiments but they're wrong. They're always wrong. You can feel free to tell them they're wrong.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you’re vaping, I wouldn’t say you’ve quit smoking . . . 

Yes, straw purchases are illegal. (Also, that’s what the neighbor did.)

Wow, I thought this was absolutely socially verboten everywhere. Occasionally I’ll see a princess pull this crap, but most people either:

Maybe it’s because the rest of the news is a constant grind of awfulness, but I kind of love this ongoing slapfight between Actual College Professor and The Living Avatar Of The Dunning-Kruger Effect.

Wow, he’s really lucky, because, while they take drug offenses super-seriously in New Hampshire, they recently repealed the death penalty. Not only that, but hanging was still on the books in NH as one of the possible means of execution, until earlier this year! So, he won’t have to worry about mobs of people…

It seems that answering the “why” question so important in journalistic reporting is being ignored. 

Reminds of Salt Lake and Mormons. I used to spend a ton of time in SLC and knew tons of Mormons and none of them drank or did illegal drugs but almost w/o exception they were all on prescription adderall and every other possible mothers little helper a doctor will give them.

Even under those conditions, Nixon still would’ve been a far better president than Trump can ever hope to be.