Q. In celebration how many fingers do you hold up?

Is that when you decided it would be easier to just pay for a woman from Laramie? Cause I would like to read that review.

Are those handicapable port-o-potties or is America just getting that fat?

I believe he gives walking tours on the San Antonio River.

Christ, he's old.

He's gonna be upset when he realizes he needed that to get his parking validated.

This is why we don’t have nice things in this house.

If there is one thing guaranteed to piss me off — it's slamming my car door. It just makes me so angry.

If a few months ago I wasn't in the market for a car with good gas mileage and four doors then I would have jumped all over this. God bless that thing looks like fun. I will just settle for the 425 ft/lbs of diesel goodness I bought instead.

Kind of makes me think a "junk drawer" is just for anal play toys.

Read that as "Ocean's Eleven" as in 7-11 as in Indian store clerk as in Indian Ocean.

Or is it that he just can’t relate to the culture? What if a white player acted exactly the same? Does Chip only listen to Vanilla Ice and Mackelmore on SiriusXM Hip-hop Nation? Is Wayne Brady his favorite black comedian? Does he believe Cosby is innocent or guilty?

Reports of punches, pulled. NCAA investigates.

The best thing about NASCAR donuts is they don't go stale after just a few days. You can enjoy those delicious Os of fried rubber goodness for days and days. Can we start calling standing burnouts donuts holes?

There are some posts on the internet that I wish I could tag for precision munition strikes. "Weapons free"!

This is wonderful. May your enemies be torn apart by 526 wild horses. And whatever number of torques those horses bring with them.

No, sir. I said DOLLAR SHAVE CLUB!

Dude was out of a job for like months. He obviously couldn’t maintain a complete shave at current razor prices. So whoever was supposed to tell him about Dollar Shave Club dropped the ball. And I guess that sadly means he doesn't visit Jalopnik enough. Dollar Shave Club!

Well I might have to disagree. I am assuming that at this point someone appointed by Reagan really only cares about hitting the early bird special at Golden Corral and will do whatever it takes to be first in that soft-serve line.

I am sad that I don't find this car attractive. Don't get me wrong — I'd get all up in it, but I wouldn't let it sleep in the driveway.