When I was in film school, it was imparted to us as an open industry secret that if you write a role with Christopher Walken in mind, the best way to guarantee he'll take the part is to include a dance number.

Well, I'm a white lady and I come into contact with at least one every day... he sleeps in my bed.

Not gonna lie. The idea of weddings without the ubiquitous and unflattering Sleeveless Gown is super appealing!

SHOCKED.

Ahh, yes. My ex-boyfriend was thin and looked great in clothes. But naked, he sort of resembled a droopy stick figure. His butt was bizarrely flat without any muscle or fat in it, so touching it was like grabbing at pudding. When he ate a large meal, it gave him a potbelly until it was properly digested so you could…

She's not going to like how the book ends.

And I totally understand it, I mean it is an uncomfortable position to be in...plus people don't want to believe that what they are seeing could be a symptom of something even worse. During my first year interning as a social worker I had a professor that warned us that it was going to be very hard to file our first…

Social worker PSA:

Fyi, there's a very bizarre borderline porn/NSFW still at the end.

I feel bad for this boner. It's so trapped.

I like 'em. Does that make me a bad feminist?

My gyn once said, while doing an exam: beautiful cervix! And I said, before I could stop myself: I bet you say that to all the women. True story. And we both laughed.

I used to be paranoid that the gynecologist would take one look at my vag and declare it terrible, just the worst vagina ever and I should take my awful parts and depart from their sight forthwith. Somehow this paranoia persisted for years, despite the fact that I had gone in for several routine exams and no one had…

Nevermind the model home, I'm more concerned about a child that age sucking on a paci.

I immediately thought of this gif..

Basically this.

If it doesn't vibrate it ain't worth it.

This is super relevant to my life right now. I don't want kids and my boyfriend does so we're both on a hiding to nothing in this relationship. People keep telling me I will change my mind, my sister said it doesn't matter if I don't love the child the fact that it's father would is enough (WTF) and my boyfriend said…

Could be me, but why the fuck is no one outraged that in America, tuition costs are now so high that the only way to really pay for it without resorting to massive loans is by doing porn? WHAT THE FUCK? Is this the 19th century at the start of the industrial revolution or is this the fucking 21st century in a goddamn…

"I found out a girl in our freshman class is a pornstar. I've now made it my goal to fuck her before I graduate." -