People who haven't had their morning coffee aren't worth having sex with.

These people have no idea what Islam is, then. Ugh.

This will probably be identified by anyone who knew me in high school, but I will change names to protect the innocent.

With this tweet and the Father's day tweet, Ronan is fast becoming my new love.

Dear Melissa:

OMG THIS IS A THING?!?!? I just thought my bum hated me and wanted to annoy me by making me have to deal with period blood and a messy bum at the same time. Ok. I'm not weird. Cool.

Can he be the one actor with a private life that we don't need to pry into? He keeps his private life VERY private, not calling paparazzi ahead of time to get 'candid' photos of him, not going to the celebrity hot spots just to be seen, not name dropping constantly i in interviews. And re. number four, it doesn't…

I said this at Gawker and I will say it here. My husband is the ONLY reason I don't smoke anymore. It's good to have someone in your life that expects you to be good, and treat yourself well and take care of your body because they want you to live a long healthy life. Everyone should have a ball buster in their…

Why do people suddenly feel they are too good for toilet paper?

Yes. Just last weekend I was chastised relentlessly by my father-in-law because I remained standing with my plate after my husband and I arrived to a graduation party. I simply replied that I had been sitting in the car for 2 hours, so I wanted to be able to stretch my legs for a little bit, but he would NOT let it…

You know what... In 6 or so weeks this woman is going to squat, roar and pop out an insanely healthy and strong baby in less than 20 minutes. I bet some of these fat fucks criticizing her have harder time taking shits than she is going to have going through labor. I lift weights. I'm almost 8 months pregnant.i know…

When pregnant people gorge themselves, people condone that it's "OK to give in to cravings" and "eat for two." (I totally condoned it in my own pregnancy, for the record...heh.) But when someone does something like this, the internet turns into Dr. McJudgerson, OBGYN.

My spouse's mother asked me if I wanted to go to Hobby Lobby the other day and I told her no, because of this shit. She stared at me like I'd sprouted wings. I know this is only sort of related to the story, but dammit, it felt good. I might go get myself a cookie.

My loins. They burn for John Legend and his activism.

Adam Scott is one of those celebrities that I was weirdly bummed to hear is married. Because if he wasn't, we totally would have met and he would have fallen for me. Obviously.

I don't even know who David Tutera and his ex are, but I feel terrible for their twin sons.

Scientology is dangerous.

I Am So Embarrassed For Him Because He Thinks He Said Something Wise.

It ended up okay - and actually, I'm pretty proud. Of the 7 daughters he's had, 5 of the 7 so far have gone to college and put themselves through (and my youngest sib is still only 16, and planning to go, so I'm hoping we'll get 6 out of 7). It's almost nice that his rules were so ridiculous so that our teenage…

Dear the entire Catholic church,

Please do not ever open your fucking mouth ever fucking again on the topics of decency, dignity, or morality, until you stop sheltering child rapists and child torturers from the rule of secular law. You are a morally bankrupt institution. It doesn't matter how many hungry people you…