Lolita: One of the most oft referenced and least understood texts, evar.

You can be proud of being a woman and proud of getting a period and still hate the shit out of what it does to you.

I don't know, I'm not proud of pooping because it's a sign that I'm a living creature and not a plant or a rock.

I have a strict rule against dating dudes who don't do period sex. It goes hand in hand with my rule against dating guys who won't kiss post-blow job.

I am 27 years old. I manage to bleed through a tampon and ruin a pair of panties at least once a month. And it's not because I bleed heavily randomly. I just forget to change my tampon every 3-4 hours during my heavy day. But I do so EVERY SINGLE MONTH.

Let me tell you something, girlies. I am 57 years old, I've been married twice, I had a long-term with a man fifteen years younger than me, and I am now single. I have NO DIMINISHMENT OF MY SEXUAL APPETITE WHATSOEVER, and I am post-menopause. I am not silly or cartoony or pathetic or wearing dopey clothes or Mrs.…

Yes.

Mmmmm... young James Spader.

Free-range, locally-sourced, AND vegan by many accounts.

Of course it's gluten-free! It's not processed. It's a whole food. You'd find it on the outside aisles of the grocery store, were it marketed for sale.

But is it gluten-free?

Just here to say Brody Jenner is super hot and I. definitely. would.

This is why I don't take my kid shopping with me.

Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

is it still illegal to light a match on an airplane in times like these?

A mother left this sign in her bathroom to scold her masturbation-happy 13-year-old. But what if he's into My Little Pony and/or Justin Bieber?