I want that on a t-shirt.

Insert your own Master-beta joke here. I'm on leave.

We are Rube Goldberg machine of epic fail. And since we work is SRS BSNS fields (him in mental health and I in law), showing up the next day with bruises and black-eyes is not terribly professional.

I’m totally going to poop your party here, but I say this with love so try not to hate me. I received this info when I was a hairdressing student.

Exactly. And I've also told him that I don't cuddle at night for his safety.

Preach, darlin'! Consider yourself hearted.

Hah! Hindsight is 20/20! If I had known then what I know now...

Oh I feel you on Dobbie. I had to cover my face and wait till the rest of the audience had left, that's how hard I was crying.

My favorite Barbie as a kid was a black Barbie. All my blond Barbies suffered horrible haircuts and got permanent marker tattoos, but that remained uncscathed. I think she's still packed away lovingly with the rest of my most-cherished toys.

He was a poet and playwright that I met at a conference so he would read his work to me while I brushed his hair. It was, hand to god, the closest thing I've ever had to a straight-up, completely legit Harlequin Romance. Makes for many fond memories and salacious diary entries that will embarrass my children and…

You know, as hot as Eric is, I found him ten times hotter when he had longer hair like in the first season. Reminded me a bit of this ripped Nordic guy I used to date (think Technoviking without the facial hair and a waist-length braid). I used to undo his braid and brush it out before we got down and it was an…

I promote this because this is what happen whenever I cuddle Sensible Shoes. And then when I tell him we're not having sex, he goes into these deep sighs with a kicked-puppy expression on his face.

For me, James Spader will always be one of those one-word celebrities. And by one word, I mean UNF! Because no matter how he ages, his voice remains so smooth and so silky and it just sends chills down my spine. He's very ME GUSTA...

Here fucking here.

Or, in the case of my aunt, "Man I wish my reconstructed boob had been covered by my insurance." She calls her fake one "Retirement Fund".

That Ani Difranco thing? Totally true, especially when coupled with (early) Liz Phair or Melissa Ethridge. Because, you know, god forbid you like artists that are pro-woman/gay.

Woah, woah, woah, back your truck up. I work with law enforcement professionals and I take offense with a blanket statement that "cops are bad in general." Police officers are like any other profession in which, yes, there can be terrible people. There are bad doctors, bad attorneys, bad landlords, bad bank tellers,…

Dark chocolate is hidden in the veg bin under the broccoli, tomatoes, and spinach. Someone in this house likes to grind it up and put it on his sorbet and keeps using mine when his runs out.

They're sealed containers so it's not like we're leaving them totally exposed, but we do get some weird looks from guests. It is mostly just the habit of keeping candy around for Sensible Shoes' issues with low blood-sugar (or so he says. I think he just really likes M&Ms).

This totally justifies my monthly trip to Costco for the bulk-size packages of M&Ms. I've got all these old-timey jars that I fill with each color and then leave them around the house to match our color schemes in each room. Red in the living room to go with our red couch, green in the bathroom to match the awful…