Here's an idea: bear down and focus on your studies, you embarrassing piece of shit.

The dead one.

Maybe they should let Kanye break the news to her...

you could make up a Brett Hull story right now and I'd believe it

Pictured: Three small weiners

Guys, opening this up to Deadspin readers really makes a mockery of the process. I hope you're pleased with yourselves; you're clearly just doing this for the attention.

Meanwhile, children in New Orleans and Charlotte are granted their final wish - to die with dignity.