Soothe your soul, friend: http://election.princeton.edu

WAIT WAIT WAIT, just today I heard the Fox Snooze brigade talking about that rapper person Jayzee and some lady named Bee-yon-say singing lyrics with the “N” word! Sean Hannity said it was bad! And I’m not sure if you noticed, but they are both coloreds. SO MUCH WORSE OMG IT’S ARMAGEDDON

Beware the Belly Trap

Starring for your good comment and replying because I am a native Austinite who left for the beautiful Pacific Northwest several years ago. Austin, represent!

Check out this site (more accurate than Nate Silver but less flashy) to retain your sanity: http://election.princeton.edu

I’m impressed you dug out a post from three years ago just to be shitty. You should take your psychic show on the road since you’re clearly able to divine what I eat. Well done. Also, get fucked. Sorry not sorry.

Please keep your sanity by constantly reading this site.

Is this the infamous “butt-fumble????”

Your cabling looks great! I can’t believe you’re just starting out. Huzzah!

My favorite. Also, true. College Station is a god-forsaken wasteland of alcoholic proto-fascists who worship dead dogs.

JESUS LORT

No. I was just sitting here telling my husband “FALSE FLAG FALSE FLAG.” It seems completely out of character but who knows? Maybe some Dems got pushed too far. Regardless, it’s reprehensible and I’m glad no one was hurt.

For me it’s the same challenge with gloves or mittens. The thumb! Not happening.

Well, they’re tubes to start with, adding some complexity. So tackle knitting in the round first. You have to use very small needles. It’s the heel that kills me. Every time I try I end up with some misshapen beast that fits no human foot. I should probably give up and take a class!

There are many books and how-to videos online. Your local yarn store probably has beginner classes. The hardest part for me was learning how to cast on stitches at the beginning of a project. After that, you have two basic stitches to play with and make so many different patterns. I encourage you to do it! It’s very…

Yes, sometimes the yarn will break in the middle, when you’re working a pattern. I leave as much of a tail as I can to work in later, and pick up the next stitch, similarly to starting a new skein or color of yarn.

Oh wow, that’s terrifically gross! I hope my dead person bones stay inside my face...

I have dead people bone in my jaw! For my dental implant. Solidarity.

Wonder how that shitlord would feel if a gay gentleman grabbed Sessions’ penis? Would that still not feel like assault? I’d honestly like to know.

I was throwing around “Poonghazi” last night. These are all stellar.