I can still hit the ball 45 yards outside the numbers with good hangtime

Excellent fucking article. Great job.

The Packers—the Packers!—still have 7,500 seats remaining

did the Browns really have to put team HQ next to some kind of abandoned box factory?

At least he, by crossing the street, was able to gain ten yards.

If he never recovers, his family should press F1 for help.

Projected Cowboys draft picks, 2014:

Wake up, sheeple!

He obviously didn't take enough Centrum Silva for his bones.

"CLASSMATE PUT A ROCK IN EAR, HAS PIECE OF PAPER IN OTHER EAR"

Well if someone in DC hit their target you can rule out RG3 as a suspect.

That kid shouldn't be playing Division I sports if he doesn't want his time stolen.

Because he's great if you want sports news with access, favors and discretion.

There was an 82 percent likelihood that the coach called him a gay slur, according to ESPN's College Football Bigotry Index.

I stopped reading considering you got the first five words wrong.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to your local Thrift Shop.

You start with Marshall Henderson, then you move on to the grumpy old guy, but then your eyes settle on the laughing, sympathetic usher.

Bear down!

This really isn't fair to the players. Josh Hamilton has been trying to negotiate blackouts into his contract for years.