No, it makes you 70 years old. Is your 2nd favorite Werther's Originals?

Democrats appear to be going for the candy that you left in your bag from trick-or-treating as a child after you ate the good stuff

The sound of shattering glass is not something that one is used to hearing while watching a basketball game.

You're right actually, my office is building a separate bathroom for the gays so they can ogle each other's penises in private and not get any gay germs on the rest of us

I was surprised that, when I clicked on the picture, the image size defaulted to "xlarge" instead of "bigpick"

Lemonade's Diver was my go to for a particularly messy breakup last year. Very nice album, but unfortunately it's now hopelessly intertwined with some pretty negative feelings

I'm a youngin'

Racing Santader President Marcos Emmierto could not be reached for comment

"I don't see the problem here"

I would love to see some sort of breakdown of prop bets as we approach the Super Bowl. For the reasonable ones anyway, betting on the coin flip doesn't really need to be broken down, but say there's a prop bet on which team will score a touchdown first. Looking at offensive production, defensive ability,…

Huh, you would expect someone to get better at shooting after moving to Detroit

I won't detail my problems with the writing and editing, because others have already made those points far more eloquently than I have, but I also think that the point about Vanderbilt's suicide not being definitively caused by Hannan deserves to be expanded upon. We can't get inside Vanderbilt's head and know what…

[implodes]

This argument has always struck me as weird. No other business would be able to argue that minimum wage and labor laws should not apply to them because they wouldn't be profitable otherwise. I love watching college football and basketball as much as anyone, but if they can't find a way to keep afloat financially…

"Honey, for the last time, Coach told me I need to work on my accuracy from the shotgun!"

Great article Tim. I would go one further and say that MLB and the Commissioner's Office specifically targeted A-Rod with the reasons you discussed above in mind. Rodriguez is the perfect test case for this strategy, because he probably did it and is nearly universally despised by fans, the media, and other players…

Relating to adult friendships, there's this

The NFL: where having owners under criminal investigation for fraud is considered "a good ownership situation"

As far as the relationship between dysfunctional front offices and losing, which would you say causes the other? On balance at least, I realize there are many other factors

On the plus side, Messi is still a lock for "Best Upscale Movie Theater Usher"