It only counts if he yells "It's knuckle punt time!" before kicking though

My first reaction to Peter King's tweet when I saw it was "Would you give up your brain and future mental health for $7500 per year for the next 20 years?"

Arsenal are kind of a running joke at the top of the Premier League because they're eternally in 4th place and can never seem to break into real title contention. But in case you haven't noticed, 4th place in the Premier League is still pretty fucking good

It's real as far as I know, I searched out the gif after the fact because they referenced the moment on The Guardian's live blog of the draw, which I was sadly reading because I can't watch TV at work

I'm still trying to see Drug War (I've heard it's one of the better films of the year), but it's a solid 5 hour drive to the nearest city that's playing it. Why won't they let me give them my money? Has anyone in this comments section seen it yet?

It appears to be Yazoo, yes

Newcastle isn't in the CL though

Everyone says they like City to advance until they don't

At any point, did you drop a box of toothpicks and have him suddenly blurt out how many were in it?

Group C should be a walk for PSG as well. Benfica aren't bad, but nowhere on their level, and Olympiakos and Anderlecht are also-rans

Considering that Celtic nearly lost to Shakhter Karagandy in qualifying, I would say that they have indeed fallen a bit

They should have just waited until Saturdays, when they can drink and smoke as much as they want in the stadium

The best part of the draw is this gif of Celtic's manager reacting to being drawn into a group with Barcelona and Milan

As usual, this one started with a tip

For Oregon State, you forgot this:

This is a team that was actually excited to be able to sign Kevin Kolb as a starting quarterback. He got injured, naturally

Now Phillip Rivers can literally miss the water while standing in the middle of the ocean, as opposed to just figuratively

If he gets dismissed, do you think she'll send in the dancing lobsters?

It was also a good night for baseball columnists, who as a result had to do little work since they could all just copy-paste sections from their previous "Yasiel Puig is immature and doesn't understand the game" columns

This is the first time I can remember seeing "Shakhter Karagandy were favorites to make the Champions League Group Stage"