Considering the rest of the list, I'm shocked this didn't make the cut.

Cereals, Ranked APPROPRIATELY

Before he raced, I was telling my gf how much of a douche Bode Miller really was, and how he had left his pregnant gf to date a pro beach volleyball player who was now his wife, etc. Cut to the end of the race and we're screaming at the TV to pan away from the poor guy as they're peppering him with questions about his…

Well, now we know why the accommodations in Sochi are so terrible. $49.9 of the $50 billion spent on the Olympics went to earning a bronze in men's 1,500m short track speed skating!

Wow. This story has so many layers. It's like an onion, only less important.

"DON'T YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT ME, ICE CREAM!!!"

"DAMMIT WEEZY!"

Mr. Peabody, take your weak science nerd schtick out of here. I'm the true genius.
—Sherman

"YOU BRING A SORRY ANTICOMPETITIVE TRUST, I'M GONNA SHUT IT DOWN FOR YOU."

-John Sherman

"I AM THE BEST GENERAL IN THE CAMPAIGN. WHEN YOU TRY ME WITH A SORRY REB LIKE JOHN BELL HOOD, THAT'S THE RESULT YOU'RE GOING TO GET!"

This is pretty retarded, even for Deadspin commenters. NE had a boat-load of injuries this year, not to mention a TE awaiting murder charges. BB probably did his best coaching job in many seasons, and the team basically overachieved.

Biggest Top 10 omission of all time:

I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha…