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"The announcement continued stating that the network would feature a range of content, from Justin Bieber concerts to Clippers games. Full seasons of Duck Dynasty will also be available to network subscribers."

Who knew a story about a guy randomly deciding to cut open a dead porcupine could be so heart-warming?

Not to mention no one will insure her.

Security access? Three days? Do they store company secrets in the lactation room?

To me the word vagina is no more sexy than the word penis - I would never use the anatomically correct word for either in sexy scenario.

Do you really think Lindsay Lohan would be a capable assistant?
She is a mess.

Fuck you, Minnesota State Representative. Fuck you.

At least we can finally answer the question Bikini Kill asked so many years ago..."Thurston hearts the who?"

Oh noez! Teh MRAs are coming to get you, Lindy!

It's funny how other people around the world starve to death everyday on the two most abundant resources on earth, light and air.

Has anyone read the book good omens? Looks like Famines plan is taking off for realsies.

"I have Christianity. I have Judaism. I have Muslims. I have Mormons. I have most of the world who regard this idea as being bizarre that two men should get married."

The Beyonce Transitive Rule of Feminist Theory has just been born.

Does anyone else remember when TLC had a show about surgeries? They showed all kinds of different operations: tummy tucks, c sections, heart, hysterectomy, etc. It was gross and amazing and really made me appreciate the insane miracle that is the human body. In conclusion, I will watch the hell out of this crazy spine

I keep reading it as "management"

Is it mean that I can't understand how so many people had sex with Kris Jenner without using protection?

You're doing it wrong, Tim. You're supposed to put aloe on the burn, and not vice versa.

The research geek in me wants to know what the numbers look like per capital. Texas and Florida have more people in them, hence the larger absolute number of submissions from these states.

Straight White People Give Each Other Awards for Doing Black Music About Gay Rights Better Than You Convention