Then he just sat back and waited for the hot crotch to roll in.

Are these her parents? This is so bizarre, it's not like a frat party where the patients are basically running the asylum; there are bona fide adults at this thing, and everyone seems to have bought in to the "theme" with nary a side eye. What the fuck?

The thing about that bitchiness over Walt's cancer treatment, though, is that it's a great example of how human beings don't always react in the best way possible when faced with tragic or challenging life circumstances, which makes her a well-rounded, true-to-life character. But if she were a man, her actions would…

What the hell is duck dynasty??????

A few things to note here (from someone who works in this industry):

Americas Funniest Home Videos has conclusively proved that getting hit in the nuts is HILARIOUS! So, if you see one of these guys, just reciprocate with well placed blunt object. But be sure to - "inform everyone involved that it was just a joke."

Anybody else getting a Pussycat Dolls vibe off of that title? Rielle Hunter Presents: The Rielle Hunter Search for the Next Rielle Hunter Book, written by Rielle Hunter.

A typical slot machine will return 93-86% of money played back to the players. A 15% rake means they're doing just fine.

I would have believed it was Bow Wow too if they sent me $10,000. I wouldn't care who it was either.

1. "Dildo of Deceit" — ha!

This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists...

Well, yeah. But I'm a douchebag political scientist, so I could spend a few hours telling you about how voting for a pretty candidate is a rational voting choice... a terrible one, but a rational one.

I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high…

Agreed. And you're talking about 'power exchange' (thanks Violet Blue and Dan Savage for educating me!) where there are nice things like Safe Words and limits and boundaries. And generally it's not a 24/7 thing. Eventually everyone unzips the hood, takes off the gimp suit and normal life resumes — albeit with huge…

Agreed. The point shouldn't be to have equal gender roles, and just switch what gender is dominant, but to do away with the damn things altogether.

Jesus Christ!

That list is 233 words long.

What were the other 131 words?

Herp and derp?

I think what he meant by the meth metaphor is, "My jizz will seem great and fun at first and then swiftly ruin your life and fill you with regret."

My salty essence and genetic code is a gift from my father, and his father, and his father, and on it goes.

"Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?"

For some reason this sentence makes me laugh really hard.

I can't. The secondhand embarrassment is too much.