Q: When did you decide to start doping, Lance?

I bet it will be like those mystery novels, with a cook who also solves mysteries and a recipe at the end of every chapter.*

If it was in a bar, would it be a honky-tonk badonk zedonk?

I agree. Like you, I have no problem with people working in porn, but it seems pretty clear that sex work is traumatic for her, and I wish she didn't have to do this. I do hope that, given her star power, she can negotiate a good payout.

I can't post a video clip from my work computer.

Unfortunately, I think you're right. I was going to post about the incongruity between his first tweet ("hire me for your wedding") and all the other ones ("women should OBEY blah blah blah"), but I think it's more than just garden-variety obliviousness.

Every time I see one of the gazillion Youtube "nut shot compilations," I wonder how the participants avoid permanent damage. I don't know how some of those guys are still walking around intact if a simple knotted towel can do this.

Was this article written by Sgt. Slaughter? Because this is some might cheap heat.

When I read the headline, I thought it said "Lamar Odom Issues Edited KUWTK Episodes." As in, he edited them and released the edited version. I actually think that might be very interesting, given how much selective editing reality shows have.

Yes, there are times when [speeches] have been sloppy or not correct or we’ve made an error, but the difference is I take it as an insult and I will not lie down and say people can call me dishonest, misleading or misrepresenting.

Finally, a Virgin Alarm that works!

When I read this, I instantly thought about the infamous "fire crotch" incident with Lindsay and Paris!

Wow, I never knew that those "Come to the Dark Side: We Have Cookies!" bumper stickers were literally true!

"The bullies were brutal in their attacks! Let us revisit those attacks one by one to see how brutal they were!"

"I'm kicking bros in the nuts to promote awareness of testicular cancer!"

I am sincerely sorry for my bad behavior, and for hurting anyone. If I hurt you, I am sorry. It was not my intention, I was thoughtless and selfish, and I am sorry.

I will always love Ramona, because she had the courage to say what we were all thinking at age 8: the cursive "Q" doesn't look anything like a real "Q."

Here's Miley Cyrus sing-songy "rapping" on the French Montana remix of "Can't Tell Me Nothin'," which boasts some truly abominable grammar. In addition, she rhymes "video" with "video."

I had to reread that sentence three times: I thought for sure that Keyonnah had sent Dee the money. I'm glad it was the other way around, although (like others are saying) the Dee probably got the money from other people she lied to.

This guy is way ahead of you: