>> So as the blow pops keep coming out of this stocking, his face turns from Christmas anticipation to abject dismay, amidst the videographer LAUGHING HER ASS OFF. There was so much hysterical laughter going on that the camera falls sideways on the ground and you can still hear hysterics.

Mine was probably the most cliche. My wife had accidentally sent me the email she meant for the other guy. For the first time I understood what it meant when people say, "that it felt like all the air was sucked out of the room." It felt exactly like that. What a horrible day that was. Two years later and that…

I'd make a comment about the SUV feeling strange to drive for a moment after just having driven my compact car.

Aw, I'm going to tell my story but it's saaaaaaad.

Okay, this isn't technically a "cheater" story because we were not exclusive—but it is some lying bullshit, shit-to-the-bull:

I don't think he was trying to slut shame her. I think he was asking why she would do that, knowing how he felt about her, because it would give him hope, or he felt lead on by that. He was clearly vulnerable to her and cared about her a lot. If the roles were reversed I know I wouldn't want to feel like a notch on…

And you're the last thing he wants to deal with at the end of the day, WTF? I deal with annoying people all day I don't get to punch them and oh yeah I also don't have 100lbs of muscle on them either. Having a bad day does not mean you get to punch people. She is really all kinds of wrong on this one.

to Aunt Betty, Huzzah !

omg that kitty is seriously upset. and she's doing that thing when cats look like they're possessed.

She slept with the phone under her pillow, and went back to sleep when she smelled burning?

Why are you acting like this is some big mystery? Cayden's Mom got called to work unexpectedly and forgot to tell Decker they were out of diapers. Decker had plans for target practice early the next morning, but no biggie. Baby gets the shits from Decker stupidly sharing his green chile stew. By this time, the…

I misread the title as MEN ARMED WITH SOILED BABY. For me that would be a deterrent, right there.

I'm guessing they're white guys.

"[Firth] has a briefly seen, occasionally mentioned fiancée named Olivia (Catherine McCormack), who is a fellow skeptic and an intellectual peer, meaning that she has no chance with him."

I feel like if you can't see yourself doing it[marriage] forever, then just continue dating...

Solution: have East Asian wedding. Problem solved.