I guess I should explain that I like to close my tab/bill with whole numbers. Why? Because I'm crazy. So if my bill were $56.37 I know that 10% is 5.63 and 20% is twice that, so my total should be somewhere in the neighborhood of $8-10 more than my check. That's about as much math as I'm interested in doing. Then…

I couldn't have been the only one expecting that this was going to be about Robin Thicke.

The more I drink the worse my math skills get. I've learned to just write in the total and leave the tip section blank. I let sober heads work out the difference.

Most attorneys, let alone laymen, have no idea how absolutely crazy and unfair immigration courts and judges are. The immigration court system is a fucking joke.

I am not surprised one bit. Immigration Judges are notorious assholes. Hopefully this will be enough to get him sanctioned. I have no hope that he'll be fired.

The problem with bro!speak is that it could be code for a somewhat higher-level thought than just a child-like 3 or 2 (or 1) word thought. But it could also be that your bro is just kinda dumb and this is about as sophisticated as his conversation gets. Here, a guide:

Some of the most misogynistic people I ever met where women who "for some reason" just don't get along with other women.

I don't know or care whether your comment was ironic or in earnest. I just want to say that the women I've known who spout that "I get along with guys so much better than with girls I don't know why I guess I'm just such a unique girl that no other girls could possibly share my interests tee-hee!" bullshit are hands…

I interject Star Wars quotes into my conversation, like, daily. Off the top of my head, things I've said over the past few days:

Kerbey Queso has processed cheese in it?!?!?! Oh God, no. Say it ain't so. Say it ain't so! *sobs*

This is exactly what I was thinking. The Judge who okay'ed that plea bargain could take legal action based on her statement because what she is effectively saying is, "I did not knowingly accept this plea."

How great would it be if her lawyer sues her for defamation? All he needs is one person who didn't hire him because of Teresa's statement.

I didn't read the book before seeing the movie yesterday and until this article, I had no idea that Amy was supposed to come off as the "Cool Girl" at first. To me she seemed: rich and fancy and cold. How does "Cool Girl" Amy play off the stuff about the Amazing Amy books her mother wrote? Because in the movie she…

Yeah, wow. I wish this had been in the movie, verbatim.

I don't know that "lovely" is the term I would have used especially in the context in which we see it? Also, I just assumed it was a prosthetic maybe because a flaccid penis in the shower is one thing but this was... uh... not that?

Let this be a lesson to anyone who weight trains: Do not neglect your legs.

If you want to read homoerotic anything, the place to go is Archive Of Our Own.

Maybe. Anything you're looking for in particular?

The problem is you eventually go through their entire catalog and are then forced to venture out into unknown waters.

What's so great about sexy fanfics of your favorite couples is that you can read 1000 versions of their first time. Sweet, fluffy version and wrenching, angsty versions. You can read them falling in love under different circumstances, ie "alternate universe" fics. You can read about them falling in love as…