Really? Well I happen to think calling someone a racist is about the strongest condemnation you can make on their character, so I tend to not lob that word at people over little insensitive comments. Sure she could have expressed herself better but as it is obvious that she took pains to express herself as clearly…

I also haven't heard those terms used sincerely since I was in grade/high school. But I think that has more to do with the fact that it's mainly kids/young people who are still trying to "find themselves" that worry or think about conforming or rejecting peer pressure or stereotypes. When we get old enough we…

Well, thanks. And don't get me wrong, I like to call people out on their bullshit just as much as any other feisty Latina (that's one stereotype I am all about) but you don't give the impression of being the kind of ignoramus that needs to be copiously beaten with the cluestick.

I know she's trying to make a point what with saying she's black and then describing all the ways in which she deviates from black stereotypes. I also deviate from hispanic stereotypes. I hate Tejano music and my favorite music in descending order is the Beatles, Motown, and classic rock. I've been an opera season…

Of course it's bullshit. I often got shit for "acting white" because of the way I spoke, and because I liked reading Jane Austen novels during homeroom, and because my favorite bands in high school were Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. Just because someone used the terms (especially in quotes) doesn't mean she agrees…

I'm hispanic and I know exactly what she means by "acting white" and "acting black" and I'm pretty sure you do too. Don't try to paint her as something she's not because she used an expression that is widely used and understood within minority communities.

I'm hispanic and I went to practically all-minority schools from kindergarten to high school. Elementary school was majority hispanic, middle school was majority black, and high school was majority hispanic. Then I went to college in a different city and was like, "Oh, here's all those white people I keep seeing in…

Exactly. This thinking is just... sad. If the person you're with is not your "top person" then why are you with them at all? Just killing time while you wait for something better to come along? Certainly no one can predict how their feelings will change in the future, but right now, in this moment, if your partner…

Well I think masturbation is a totally separate issue. By definition, masturbation is your "alone" time so of course you should focus on yourself and what you want without giving consequence to anyone else's wishes or desires. It is and should always be wholly selfish and no one should dictate how you do it, what…

Thanks! I wish you could recommend 100 times - maybe then I'd get out of the gray!

Using filters to the point where the race of the actors becomes indiscernible? Yeah, I don't think so.

Well, see, I think I do have the grounds to demand that. The same way that I have the grounds to demand respect and friendship and fidelity. And if a man isn't willing to give me those things then he doesn't have to be with me and in fact I would prefer that he not be. Again, I think we're talking about two very,…

Like I said, I'm not a mind reader, so if the person I'm having sex with is going through a Clockwork Orange-style clip reel of porno, how would I ever know? Unless the way he's fucking me makes it clear that he's thinking more about the clip reel than about me. That I have a problem with. Anyway, this kind of…

I brought up the issue of consent because I don't think there's anything wrong with fantasy in the sack - so long as I'm aware of it. Someone upthread mentioned Mulder and Scully. I would be down for that role play any time. If you tell me that's what you want, I'll probably even put a red wig. Hell, if you tell…

I think if your current partner doesn't fuck hot/nasty/naughty/dirty enough for you, you should probably have an honest discussion with him/her about what really turns you on and how you'd like to experience that with them. Unless you're one of those people who thinks you can't fuck a spouse the way you'd fuck a…

I feel entitled not to be used as a dick stimulator. I'm not a mind reader so of course I can't know "for sure" if the guy I'm fucking is thinking about how tight my pussy is or Adriana Lima's. All I can go by is how his treatment of me and my body feels to me at the time. And if I feel that he's off in fantasy…

Well, "emotional connection" is probably not the most perfect way to say it. I think your term is better or maybe "physiological connection". Even during a one night stand with someone I may not be thinking "I want to spend the rest of my life with that guy" but I am at least thinking "I want to get fucked by that…

To me, sex is very much about connecting on an emotional level with the other person, whether its slow, sensual sex or fuck-me-through-the-mattress sex. Whether its a one time-thing or a long-term relationship, if I'm having sex with you its because I want to have sex with you, and not because I just want to have…

I agree with you and Owlbert. When you close your eyes and imagine someone else, then yes, you are using your lover as living fleshlight.

Bingo. Men aren't used to random people (women) openly pontificating on their fuckability or lack thereof.