Didn’t read this. Won’t read Simmons. Won’t read about Simmons.

“I love this. I love the Cuban people. I love their cigars. And I’m big with the Cubans. The Cubans, they love me. But I’m not about to let them steal American jobs just ‘cause they can get the—what is it, like 90 miles—just ‘cause they can get on a raft in the morning and make it to Rubio’s house by dinner. We’re…

If Foxx is any good at her job, the CPD will be on strike by its first August shooting.

Trump’s strategy won’t change. He’ll just list the companies that paid for her campaign and remind people who she’s beholden too. That stuff is working.

The best way to humanize anyone of either sex is to frame the person as a relative or friend.

Thinking of someone of either sex as a family member helps with empathy. We do the same with elder abuse. (Imagine if that were your father covered in bed sores, etc.)

No one is an actual independent person. No woman is an island. I see myself in part as made up of the lessons, tutelage and love of my mother.

There’s a special place in hell for men who don’t see women as real people.

“There is a special place in hell for people who insult and belittle women.”

In a related story, scientists have come to the surprising conclusion that water gets you wet.

Equal rights and all that.

“Look I’ve met Neil. He’s a smart guy. Big brain. He knows lots of words. And he’s black. It’s okay. It’s okay that he’s black. But he’s gonna make mistakes. Not every deal goes through. It’s tricky. Science is very tricky. But Neil, he knows science. He gets it you see. He’s so smart. Neil is great. He’s awesome. I…

“My people are very passionate. They’re passionate about the internet. They make comments. And look, a lot of these Kinja folks, they’re bad folks. They say bad things. And my people, look they love this country and they’re upset. They’re upset about what gets posted on Gawker. So they leave comments and a lot of…

“I love the people in the Tampa Bay area. Really love their baseball team. They come out in droves."

Actually some people are idiots and not racist. It happens.

Well Mizzou did make the SEC. That was a little shocking.

“I didn’t see the dog murdered. I heard about it. I don’t like it. But my people are passionate and some of these dogs, look they’re bad dogs, and my followers are passionate. They’re passionate about America. And a lot of it, most of it, is a beautiful thing.”

I dunno. Bob Gibson would hit mother fuckers for looking at him funny, let alone celebrating a homerun. You don’t have to be white to ask people to act like they’ve been there before.

I never nap. Even as a baby I only slept at night. I only sleep in the day if sick and usually not then. It never occurred to me one could get cocky about such a quirk.

I’ll bet whatever he did involved a farm animal and a snorkel.