* Using a credit/debit card at a convenience store for purchases less than $10.

I take it from your comment that you haven't played it, otherwise you would know how retarded you sound.

The Adolpho Birch is a broadleaved deciduous hardwood tree of the genus Betula. It is marked by an inability to adapt to its surroundings and tendency to not know which way the wind is blowing. The Adolpho Birch tends to be short-lived, especially when it can't absorb that Ray Rice is a wife-beating piece of shit.

For my money, the best part is his totally unprompted "Roger Goodell doesn't just sit in a vacuum and decide this stuff by himself" bit. He couldn't have made it more clear that Roger Goodell sits in a vacuum and decides this stuff by himself if he'd just said "Roger Goodell sits in a vacuum and decides this stuff by…

Yuengling? Go to hell and die.

"We hope that the Ukraine will soon come to its senses and stop provoking Russia unnecessarily."

It's not that weird when you consider the personal entertainment value of each sport on television. I find baseball way more fun in person than on TV and the opposite with the NFL. The production of NFL games has a certain pacing to it along with the ability to interject with highlights from around the league that…

"Guys, what I was trying to say was..."

I think he is literally going to make the exact same argument he did on the show and not even realize it.

"Upon seeing this, ESPN executives immediately set upon rectifying the situation: Terminating Beadle and apologizing to Smith and Bayless for any offense her comments may have caused."

Gawker Exclusive: Is This a Penis?

Similarly, Dick Cheney signs everything with "♥ # 2"

I wonder what Tim Tebow thinks about this?

Smith and Bayless: [Embrace Debate]

We must know: Which teammate is Judas?

John Valby just booked a month long engagement in Columbus.

... 5:40 AM ...

Janay Rice prefers the purple because it goes with everything.

Can't we just like tits? Jesus.