Holy Crap! I spent a lot of my childhood on and near Turtle Bayou. My dad still lives outside of Anahuac. If you'd gotten off two exits earlier he'd have fried up some blue crabs for you. Come on, dude. You gotta plan this shit.

And

I almost missed my SAT in high school because I was hungover after seeing them play the (looonnnnggg) night before. I got there, but let's just say that if it weren't for The Ramones I coulda been someone (else).

We even get DUAN here in the Pacific. It's kind of awesome. Sharting has already pimped Sidespin and Ray has made me feel bad about my mileage before I even get home from work. I just crack a beer and listen to Erg's collection of wax cylinder recordings.

Quitting smoking sucks more than anything I've done that isn't related to integrity or dignity. I smoked for 20 years, starting when I was 14. A large portion of that was north of a pack a day. Mrs. Splanticles and I wanted to have a kid, so quitting was on my mind, and one day I found myself near breathless halfway…

My one-year-old daughter: [quietly playing with her blocks]

Erg, as usual, wins. After all, he has a wife who will still watches the Braves.

The focus-grouped corporate branding shit pisses me off the most. I can choke down adapting a noun to a gerund, but Agilent, a Providian subsidiary managed by Premera. Fuck you.

The focus-grouped corporate branding shit pisses me off the most. I can choke down adapting a noun to a gerund, but Agilent, a Providian subsidiary managed by Premera. Fuck you.

You just changed my life: I had Mario Batalli down as Mariotti.

The Conant business: He's peevish about red onions, a prissy little brat really. Raftery's catchphrase: "Onions." As Gamboa said, "so dumb." But cute nonetheless.

"Colder than a well-digger's ass in Utah": Self-explanatory. From my dad, whose experience with climates ranges from southeast Texas on the cool end to Vietnam on the hell end.

Ha. I found brand new buttons and mugs from EXPO '74 for sale here a few years back. No irony in at all, just earnest nostalgia. So awesome.

I've taught at GU most of a decade, and I can't imagine a more perfect photo to capture the psychic inferiority of this email: The whole city wishes it were cool as Seattle; the law school wishes it were top tier. Morrison: well, Penney's is neat. Right?