He looks about as excited as Riley Cooper at a Drake concert.

Can't say I'm surprised that this dude goes through a lot of Trojans.

If Deadspin needs more Toni Kukoc stories, then bring back John Salley so that he can tell them.

The lesson here: Don't drink and Spirograph.

We'll leave a light on for you...Georgia Highway Patrol

Mushnick uses the words "baby mama" three times in a 550-word article about said "baby" being killed. He uses the word "mother" zero times.

Or a violent conflict over control of Northern Ireland.

"Ok, maybe making Robin Thicke our president was a bad idea...."

Johnny hosted a game show called Do You Trust Your Wife? Perhaps the .38 was just his way of looking for a ratings boost.

Gosh, if he truly wanted to know the answer, why didn't he just don a turban and cape and touch his head to the door?

It's still a lot less slurring than the show had from '99-'04

Im going to watch the DVR later. I just hope that Walter guy picks Dawson over Pacey.

I know Riley Cooper isn't the tallest guy, but 5'6" seems like an exaggeration.

There will be rioting at Neiman Marcus tonight!

He tried to speed off with the woman along for the ride, but ended up ramming into nine different parked cars before the woman was able to jump to safety.

Can we get Daulerio to see what it's like to drop acid and then get fucking pepper sprayed?

Khan has instead decided to erect a statue of LeBron out of respect to soccer history and to solidify James' role as The King of Flop.

I couldn't stand it. I was sitting at work during a slow work day and saw so many people were reading the Drew Magary article so I clicked on it myself.

Jeffrey Loria is the man who personally trains all Time Warner Cable customer services representatives.