Some of us don’t have ladies’ haircuts. I'm not paying salon prices just to get the short parts of my hair buzzed.

TIL: The only thing dorkier than a Segway is people who lose control of a Segway and fall off.

Seriously beautiful.

I could never do it myself, but I’m okay with legal, ETHICAL hunting. This was neither of these things and fuck this guy so much. I studied wildlife biology and the reverbation of what he’s done is depressing. Leave his wife and kids out of it, but again, fuck him. Have at ‘im, Internet.

Bet you anything he’s planning on making a rug.

Well, yes. Cause I have thought about diaphragms, but the truth is, I couldn't reach my cervix with my fingers if my life depended on it. :/

Welcome! I noticed that the other way stopped working, too, which is a bummer cause it was way faster (if you have a giant library like I do).

13 years of waiting tables here.. It seriously would’ve taken as much (or less) time to smile and to politely admit, “I’m sorry, I’m just having trouble understanding what you mean. Would you mind showing me on the menu?” than it takes to explain the situation to two separate managers. Though why neither manager…

It tripped me out when I first had my hair cut short; I went from no dudes checking me out to a lot of dudes checking me out.

Ditto this.

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Sssssssssssssssss. Boooooooooooooo.

I'm not saying all Lambrusco sucks. However, our Lambrusco was awful.

...Only, he was dead serious.

I can never forget the guy who, obviously trying to impress his date, declared, “We’ll have your finest bottle of Lambrusco.”

I remember. To be honest, I didn’t know shit. I *thought* I did, but I realize now that I knew a hell of a lot less than I believed at the time. The big difference is that as you get older, the more it dawns on you just how complicated everything is.

My guess is that it's actually a guy, which would be enough of a change to throw people off the scent. 'She' was photographed with a gay friend, the press announced 'she' had a new boyfriend, and the friend's boyfriend got pissed. That part stuck out to me because I don't know why the boyfriend would be pissed, other…

It was a server nightmare come to life. Horrible, horrible.

There was one night at my last restaurant where we were expecting about 60 covers from a local school, but were told they'd come in staggered due to an event. No sweat, we thought, it'd be pretty much like a regular service.

Also, it's complete bullshit, given that a Long Island is like 75% liquor by definition. It's just magical when done right, somehow it tastes sort of like tea and not 4-5 shots of liquor.

This was such a good read — I hope you get to do more!