Man, I'll miss him when his term is finished.

works out to one "Tebow" every 18 seconds

This is excellent. Thanks, Alan.

Meanwhile, the only piece of USC memorabilia that Matt Leinart kept was a broken condom.

If I asked you what kind of offense LSU runs, what would you tell me?

+1

"You ain't wet nobody, nigga, you Canada Dry."

[Pregame Discussion]

ESPN also sends a huge thanks to Nicholas G, its only viewer, for tuning in.

No "Goodbye From AJ" - or did I miss it?

Do your worst, commenters.

How many times has this guy been roasted?

"Baseless" also describes the Cubs' postseason

I will poop frozen custard on your doorstep.

It's Todd Haley's personal ash tray.

AJ's girlfriend? Tawnee from Quinzee

He didn't even really want the cigars; he was just excited to give away pants.

The cause of the fire is not known.

Teammate: Yo, Red Rifle, let's wipe our asses with this defense!

Anything with Jayden Jaymes or Nicole Aniston.