British people ask me why I remain here in the UK instead of going back home to the USA. Because the British attitude suits me. I'm married to a Scot, who are the most dour people on the planet. I am a pessimist by nature and I can't deal with the relentless happiness in the USA. Plus I can tell sarcastic jokes and…

With my extensive research of the UK via panel shows uploaded on youtube, I can say with no reservations that all British people are David Mitchell.

We will welcome you with slight, noncommittal nods of the head, and return to grumbling amongst ourselves.

If you like cynicism and sarcasm with crankiness and are a clean person I'd share a place with you. I can wallpaper to my heart's desire like on Coronation street.

Hahahaha oh you got to love the Daily Mail. Wait, no. They're idiots.

Reserved with suppressed emotions isn't actually the same thing as dour, you know.

I'm in rural Alabama. I went from a virulent, in-your-face racist as a child. Yes, I was a racist child, who consistently spewed the most vile white supremacist shit at fellow children. Each idea, each word of hate, had been spoon-fed to me from a young age.

Michael Gary Scott dry cleans his jeans.

Fox News introduces new cooking show in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

Dump him. Seriously, dump him. For your own sake.

DTMFA

I think it might be time to dump that motherfucker.

DTMFA

I would just like to meet the person, who has made a random comment to someone and had it work. I mean, who is this person?!

Him: "You're Rude!"

Yikes! Seconding: DTMFA. Not respecting consent is like the biggest red flag they make. Probably only second to actively killing your pet/family member.

I'm sorry ladies aren't supportive of your asking. Personally, I LOVE it when someone asks first and think it's totally hot.

Buster Bluth Guide to being a Pick Up Artist:

DTMFA

I was totally negged once! I didn't realize it until after I got home and thought about it. But it did not work on me. I think I blinked at him, said, "Okay!" and walked away. Then he came back later and was being a weird jerk again, I looked at him, said, "OKAY!" and walked away again. He was clearly pissed. …