Billy Connolly has some hideous golf pants that he calls his "fuckwit detectors". You have cleverly grown your own.

"thus feel compelled to make your own almond milk using organic Sicilian almonds and something called a "nut bag."

As a fellow non shaver, this is exactly my philosophy as well! Douchebag repellent, I like to call it.

Calm down? I think most feminists agree that a partnership might mean the woman in traditional "female" roles. I think the problem is your idea of what a feminist actually is.

Actually, Kaidence is an old Celtic name. It means "gold does not buy one class."

It's not really surprising, is it?

I mean, if Kanye and Kim are about anything, it's the "I." All about the "I."

I've been waiting all week to use this gif in the best possible context.

"It is part of our 2013 Fiction Issue, one that is entirely dedicated to female writers, photographers, illustrators, painters, and other contributors."

Too bad he recorded this before the latest craze, cause

Hurry up with my damn CRONUTS
Bitches 'fore I GO NUTS

Your titties, let 'em out, free at last
Thank God almighty, they free at last

Nooo! Don't pierce it with a fork, you fool!

"We in no way meant to imply that women aren't just as masterful at the grill."

ugh remember that time when Danny, Jesse and Joey had a dream that the girls grew up and were still living there and demanding things of them, and in the daydream Kimmy had grown up gorgeous and sexy and all the guys wanted her? And then when the daydream was done Joey was like, "Yeah, I learned I should be nicer to…

Kimberella would be THE BEST. That's the genus name of the world's oldest fossil of a proto-snail.

"I beg to differ." - Michelle Duggar

And still impossible to find a "bra" that fits.

redacted

Yep, yep. We have a regular vendor in our building who does printing and mail. I was in the middle of a business-related conversation in an elevator, when some creeper decided to hit on me. It was so weird. I think I said, "What? I'm working right now. I don't know you." He was shocked.

Hello. You are wrong.

I would fully support a War on 24/7 Christmas Carols and Commercials from Halloween to New Year's.