I believe Derek Jeter’s running catch and leap into the stands vs the Red Sox was totally overrated and not that great

I felt really guilty voting for the bear who ate the monkey but deep down I knew it was the right choice.... It’s like picking Adrian Peterson 1st overall in fantasy.

That’s not a celebration, that’s a suicide attempt.

Who hugged Roger Goodell longest at last night’s NFL Draft?

New Falcons defensive back Keanu Neal, who got intimate with Roger Goodell for more than 15 seconds

Where can you buy an incredibles jersey? I’m.....asking for a friend.

Enjoy your next 0-0 soccer tie.

Did I just get lucky and not go to a school with psychopaths? What the hell is this shit?

Looks like the bandwagon evacuation plan was enacted.

Whatever comes of this, whether it’s absolutely nothing or a federal perjury conviction, rock bottom for Jeter has to be the upcoming phone call from an eager A-Rod offering advice.

♫ HGH you work so gooooood ♫

Nissan Stadium (that’s what it’s called now, turns out)

“Remember the Titans?”

Skoal Vikings.

Cheesy gordita crunch is the best fucking thing. Like, for real.

Bill O’Brien is also the least-convincing pottymouth in football history.

At least they brought him up this year. Try being a Twins fan watching our top prospects grow gray hair and get injured in the minors. Goddammit.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."