The Veyron is just stupid.

Why won’t they respond to e-mails?  Fuck You, that’s why.

I can’t tell if that damn thing is coming or going!

I bought a cop scanner a few years ago. I was listening to it late Christmas night. I heard an ambulance call:

Welcome to Hollywood.

No.  Next question?

My old Ford Explorer had four front sun visors. When you put the main visor sideways to block the east/west sun, there was another little sun visor still facing front.

A LOT of stories don’t make the nightly news, slugger.

What the hell is that turbocharger out of?  A train engine?

Can you leave the borax in a dish or do you have to shake it on the seats?  I have one of those Damp-Rid things in there already.

How is the insurance company going to know?

Clean off the mold and spray a few cans of Lysol into the heater intake with the fan on. Let it sit and kill the germs and then do it again.  Are you guys germophobes?

I have an old Infiniti QX4 that I’m not driving and it developed mildew spots like that. They cleaned up pretty easy, but with the wet weather, they’ll probably return. Do the mothballs prevent them from growing back?

Oh, shit. That’s a big NO from me. I’d pay good money for customizable alert tones.

As a guy who was ten years old when this came out: screw off...I like it and really wanted one in high school.

Why is the voting so close? What do you guys know that isn’t apparent?

Well, I just bought one for gutter cleaning. Now I really feel like a middle-aged man. What’s next, a metal detector so I can go searching the park for lost pocket change?

Well, I just bought one for gutter cleaning. Now I really feel like a middle-aged man. What’s next, a metal detector…

You know what would really help?  Selling some fucking cars!

You know what’s REALLY fun?  Letting your kid play with an ether-soaked rag.

Sure, if I can pay in Monopoly money.