No joke, they actually tried that during Clinton’s term - the law that covers the president’s pension and so forth was amended to only provide 10 years of Secret Service protection for any president inaugurated after 1997. But lifetime protection was restored under Obama, backdated to cover himself and GW Bush. I seem…

Awkward joking because he’s kind of anxious about the topic?

Depends on the sport, maybe? I can see it making a difference in basketball but with football anything remotely interesting will be rerun in slo-mo three times, so... 

I’m thinking I need to do this the next time I visit my in-laws. Pretty sure this is why their TV looked like absolute garbage the last time I was there, and we hate each other so all we do is watch TV. 

That has changed quite a bit, thankfully - they now only care about drug convictions that happened during the time you were receiving aid, and you can restore your eligibility by completing rehab or passing multiple drug tests. https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/eligibility/criminal-convictions#drug-convictions

Well that’s mighty obnoxious of them. 

The Chihuahua in question is not on any lease, has no tags, no visible area of containment and is indistinguishable from the problem stray dogs.

They’re pretty anti-domestic-pet as I recall, so they’re not going to be doing any of this except maybe TNR, because they don’t believe in having dogs or cats.

Although it sounds like they’re at least basing that on convictions and not just arrests? Because this company was denying people housing based solely on arrest records, which is next level bullshit for multiple reasons. 

I thought they were implying it was a set up rather than a random crime. As in, the woman with the “baby” lures people to pull over/take out their wallet and then her partner, the stabbing guy, robs them.

That’s not what non-living means, at least in biology - a “non-living thing” is something that has never been alive, like a wallet, or a rock, or water. Cut romaine lettuce might be no longer growing, and may or may not be dead (if biological processes have ceased), but it is still a living thing.

Strangling, in particular, is REALLY serious. (Obviously all intimate partner violence is serious, but strangling is like stage four cancer versus stage one.) Aside from being potentially fatal all by itself, strangulation is one of the more significant indicators of future lethal violence. It’s exceptionally bizarre…

Her blood alcohol level was over 0.4, which is the “potentially fatal” category for pretty much anyone. Although I’m sure her pre-existing heart & lung problems didn’t help. 

Also, are they washing their lettuce with hot water and soap? Because the way most people wash vegetables would be more accurately described as rinsing. 

And dogs, apparently.

Kind of missed the obvious one - none of the Kardashians are black, no matter how much they wish they were.

“When people see a police officer, most people are going to go away,” Canady said. “They’re not going to want to do a crime and get arrested.”

Evangelicals are a very different flavor than Catholics, in my experience (raised Catholic myself, spouse’s family is evangelical). They are OBSESSED with conversions to their particular, specific flavor of Christianity, to the detriment of ever doing or even thinking about any kind of good works that might, you know,…

If he’s like most of the evangelicals I know, he didn’t give two shits about the possibility of killing them because he was going to save them so it wouldn’t matter if they died.

A ton of NFL fans had to be told Colin Kaepernik was black when he started kneeling. (Before he grew his hair out, of course.)