Your tax dollars at work, America! Congratulations.

Uh, this bomb-ass stuff is from H&M, right? They look good, don’t get me wrong, but we’re not talking cutting-edge style here. I love sparkle as much as the next girl. And lots of it. Just let’s not confuse looking good with dressing well.

Watch hockey. These guys are goddamned babies.

He can move anywhere he wants. Got it?

No one like to give the Rangers any credit. Ever watch those two blockheads on NBC doing commentary? They’d rather set themselves on fire than pay the Rangers a compliment. If they score a goal it’s because of the other team’s mistake. Fuck them and fuck Petchesky. Ovechkin couldn’t get it done. All we keep hearing…

Headline. Best.

Yeah. With a game full of barely legal hits. Hope he's polishing his golf clubs.

#womenslivesmatter

#girlslivesmatter

Like with so many of these articles, all of this advice applies beautifully in a perfect, binary world. Now try this with actual humans, with free will and a shit-ton of their own baggage. Not so much.

A-fucking-men. This shit is the Ikea of clothing, before Ikea kicked up its game. I’d rather wear my Garanimals.

I’m still not sure why everyone is freaking out about 77 fucks. They clearly don’t ride the NYC subway every day.

Can I borrow your pink highlighter?

Or maybe, you know, you could try it and see how it goes.

You missed the REAL best one, which is Make Up For Ever Smoky Extravagant. Great brush. Good color. Plumps the puniest of lashes without making you look like A Clockwork Orange.

You missed the REAL best one, which is Make Up For Ever Smoky Extravagant. Great brush. Good color. Plumps the…

I have to agree: good, salient analysis in this piece, but under a lousy headline. And Roger Godell is the dirtbag of all dirtbags. He’s the owner’s lapdog and has continually proven to have not a shred of real decency around these issues. Everything is about expediency and protecting the League.

Who gives a shit.

I'd rather be proposed to by an unforgettable someone, no matter how they do it, with or without a ring.

I keep playing it just to hear Diana Ross.

SPORTS Illustrated fired all of their staff photographers last week. This bullshit is to blame. Swimsuits for all? How about women's basketball for all? Or soccer for all? Jezebel ought really to get its shit together on this one. Let's stop congratulating them for showing us what we already look like in bikinis and…