I was raised on the Northshore, just across the lake from New Orleans. Northshore residents don't typically go to the city for the big parades, but keep to our local smaller ones. You just can't put a price on safety when it comes to drunk idiots in crowds. You can still enjoy a family-style Mardi Gras, haul home bags…

DLI '95-96 Arabic - holla! Absolutely rediculous to hold servicemembers to antiquated standards.

Our father never once told me or my sisters that we were pretty or smart or that he loved us. When we'd try to kiss him on the cheek (as little girls often try to kiss the people they love), he'd wince and make a big show of almost looking like he was in pain or something for receiving the kiss. We were raised in the…

One of the most terrifying mornings I've ever had was when I was normalizing on Ambien and awoke to find my laptop and my wallet on my bed with no recollection of even seeing either the night before. For the next two weeks, the arrival of the mail was like a mini CSI episode.

Also, it's the nickname of my high school's football field. Which used to be a grazing pasture for cows. The more you know!

Deleted.

You just killed my love fern. You let it die!

I did it in 1997! We dated for 2 months and were married in Vegas, 14 years strong.

One of the outprocessing tasks I had to do before discharging from the military was a dental check-up. The dentist noted I still had my wisdom teeth (2) and offered to extract them. Having grown up poor and uninsured, I was afraid of the future expense and said, "Yeah, why not?"

Until 2nd grade, I thought all the teachers lived at the school. It never occurred to me that they'd ever leave or have a home life. After all, they were there when we arrived and stayed past when we'd leave. It wasn't until I overheard some other kids gossiping about our 2nd grade teacher "getting a divorce from her…

Well, I wouldn't make one of my non-pregnant abdomen because it would never really occur to me. I actually made one for my 1st pregnancy at 38 weeks because it took us 6 years of treatments to conceive. I was amazed at what my abdomen looked like so I bought a plaster cast roll and had my husband help me make one of…

It was a Christmas party. I think he was also wearing a Santa hat on his yule log. The 2nd hat's chin strap is what looks like a g-string from this angle.

@DeccaLeChat: A scene rivaled only by Cam's reaction to Lily getting locked in the car.

Every time I see that pic, I literally still cannot believe her middle finger is really that long.

This is sarong on samanylevels.

I'm in awe of her whole look. It's something that would be assembled on some outlandish department store mannequin that I would never think to put together and could never afford. And then I'd buy something completely safe like a solid color long-sleeved tee and slink out of the store muttering how I can't find…

@JinxyMcDeath: Wait - she's black? I think the Jersey tanning culture is bleeding over into this issue a bit. She just looks really crispy to me.

@lolita7b3: Exactly! I read: an opportunity to still hate your selected family members, flare up like a hemorrhoid anytime you're contractually obligated to appear with them, and still get paid. I'm not seeing a downside.

@WashingMyHair: ...but the big question is WHO WILL END UP DATING SLADE???

Submitter, Dad, or Ken - I'm still not sure who would be MOST traumatized by this story.