It should be noted that I wrote this piece as I sat one row behind Madeleine Albright on a train from NYC to DC today so I was especially inspired.

Later that night, Hermione went to the library to do a research project on wooden spoons, hoping to prove that they were about as progressive as Galen's views on the female body but discovering that they were, in fact, at least as progressive as Freud's.

Safe, sane and consensual. If it's all these things, and both people are over the age of consent, what's it to you?

Yeah, you lost me at "amazingly talented Bret Easton Ellis..."

This piece is really confusing and convoluted and reads like a poorly written porn ad, BUT I gotta say James Deen and/or his publicist is a marketing genius. This whole "big star shooting porn with normal people" concept is amazing because it spans both the mainstream porn market and the amateur market. Plus it makes…

Little late, but:

I was a vampire school girl, just so I could wear my red contacts and fangs! :D

I made my Jeopardy! contestant costume for $9 and grabbed my Cairn (SEXY bumble bee) and Bichon (dinosaur) for the picture.

My personal fave: Madame Curie, after dying of radiation poisoning (and Frankenstein, of course).

My dog Sydney went as Jennifer Anniston this year.

Two costumes this year: Wicked Witch of the East for work, and I played SCUBA Diver to my husband's shark.

Zombie Hannah Montana...cuz errybody knows she's long gone

I was Zoe Hanji from Attack On Titan (I'm the one on the left in the yellow blouse) - I just so happened to come across a Levi cosplayer, so we took pictures. (The discomfort is intentional - the running gag is that Levi is really fucking short and hates it being brought up.)

It just reminds me of those 50 foot phone cords we all used to have that would get all twisted up (back in the olden days when phones had cords).

When I was a child I was terrified of ghosts. We lived in a big house in upstate NY that used to be a hotel, right next to a graveyard.

You should see the placenta!