I just closed on my new home purchase about 2 weeks ago. Bank of America had this awesome First Time Home Buyer’s program that provided $7,500 towards closing costs and 3% of the sales price (up to $10,000) towards the down payment for free. I literally got the keys to my new home and a check written out to me. And I…

Cool, someone tell my work this.

Any major city in the midwest

Stevia tastes like shit, though.

do the other participants die horrific deaths as well?

But honey is mostly sugar, and agave nectar is just sugar.

Have these people... never made lemonade? From scratch? Because lemon water is great, but it ain’t lemonade. Who are these fools?

Syrup and chicken juice?

If the regular lemonade didn’t have a ton of sugar in it why would they offer a diet lemonade RIGHT NEXT TO THE REGULAR ONE?

Excellent response by the pub.

A near sight better than I imagine G/O Media will handle my complaints about how in any one scroll, ads take up 20-50% of the mobile version of this page.

I am starting to worry you’re living in a closet with a waffle iron. 

Look, I already have too damn many things in my kitchen and your ceaseless shilling for Big Waffle is not helping!

Early. If you live in hurricane country, the appearance of the flying spaghetti monster on your weather map should be an occasion to check and top off your supplies, not obtain them.  

BTW, obligatory:

If they really wanted rights for all, why did they stop when they got voting rights?

I can’t wait until he suggests putting her portrait on a coin.

Jezebel now smears Susan B Anthony because Trump ‘likes’ her (not really, but he would others believe so). So it’s another case of the friend of my enemy is my enemy too?

As other commenters have pointed out, the context of this quote is important. Susan B. Anthony was responding to an assertion that the universal male suffrage (i.e. the right for black men to vote) was more important than universal suffrage (i.e. the right for women to vote). Susan B. Anthony was criticizing the idea…

I’ve read two comments correcting this article so far.