The term you were searching for was “Ho Couture.”

Funny Kevin Hart Day isn’t December 21 because that is the shortest day of the year! Ohh middle school burn!!!

Motion seconded.

How clever of Donald Trump to start a dating site.

Between this Mark Salling news and the ever present inconceivable support on twitter today for Bill Cosby, here is a picture of my puppy to cheer everyone up.

Jesus fucking christ, “finish the abortion”? He’s a BABY. He was born ALIVE. And I am 1,000% pro-choice. But once you are born and viable, you are your own person with the right to a shot at life. My best friend has a 5 year old who was born at 26 weeks and weighed 1.5 pounds. He’s a fucking miracle. Shame on you.

In college my roommate and I decided to throw a generalized “winter” party. We cut out paper snowflakes, put Christmas lights everywhere, holiday colored jello shots, etc. We had about 50 people in our tiny apartment, had an awesome party, cops came, people had to leave, yada yada yada...

I mean that’s Dolly’s whole thing though. She celebrates the great parts of her family and culture even though they obviously struggled. That’s why she made Dollywood as a celebration and to bring jobs into her community so others wouldn’t struggle as much as she did. Her tiny house model isn’t there as a woe is me…

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

Because men don’t see the emotional work. Women are socialized from birth to recognize and respond to it. Men are not. The effort to bring men up to speed is exhausting. You talk and talk and talk until you’re blue in the face, hoping for one *aha* moment, and when it happens, they expect a freaking trophy because…

But part of the problem is that asking is part of the emotional work. Recognizing that it needs to be done, planning it, delegating tasks, all of that goes unseen.

You are perfect.

I blame the English language. It’s not Natasha’s fault that “All you can eat” can be singular or plural (and boo to Denny’s for taking advantage of the ambiguity). This wouldn’t have happened in Shakespeare’s day. When the tavern had an “All thou canst eat” special, everybody knew it only meant thee, not thy whole…

My Uber driver the other night, noticing that i was going home from the bars by myself, tried to convince me to go buy a book online that would teach me how to get any women to sleep with me.

I gave him and his stupid fucking newsboy cap 1 star.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

Bitten by a radioactive Ann Coulter?

I made a mistake in the state (because Kansas City is not in Kansas) and want to let everyone know that if there’s a Dearborn in Kansas, the residents don’t deserve the criticism.

Dear Entire Town of Dearborn, Kansas,