So I'm breaking my family's rule today. This is a trophy for participation. And I am beyond honored and proud to receive it. Because this? Was a group effort.

Making it through the glass ceiling to the other side was simply a matter of running on a path created by every other woman's footprints.

A feel-good anecdote, with regards to getting married because you're knocked up:

or even just the ability to choose to not have more than x number of kids.

Man, that waiter from Lisbon from last week is going to be really upset when he comes here and eats all our bread.

This reminds me, I should go through and delete some more friends...

Is this a surprise? We all know it's acceptable for white people to lynch black people since 2000's America decided that 1945 was a good year for race relations.

I once went out with a guy who said he was a writer, and since I'm also a writer, I asked who some of his favorite authors were. He said,

I just heard the word 'BitchBaby' in HTGAWM and Scandal on the same night. Before this day, I had never heard the slur in life, ever.

So tell an Old: how long has "bitch baby" been a thing?

TWIST!

Whatever her name: "There's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women."

Yeah, well when I saw him in Chicago at Lollapalooza over the summer, he decided it would be a great idea to punctuate the pauses between his songs with gunshot sounds. In Chicago. Apparently some people in the crowd hit the floor when it first happened, it freaked them out so much. This was on top of the fact that he…

I save puppies! I have fostered 17 puppies who were on the kill list at shelters. There's no article about me. But here's one of my babies!

Funny enough, I REMEMBER Urban Decay selling boxes of rhinestones and adhesive for just this reason back in the 90s. I can't remember what they called the product, but it was this exact thing.

I've been doing this for ages but only in the appropriate venue of Burning Man style festivals. I might add that if you wish to adorn yourself with jewels there is surely no need to break the bank on fancy designer shit. Just go to your local Joanne's or Michael's and they're pretty cheap. IDK about this taking off…

Sure. Dip your pinecone in wax, then into a mix of sawdust and the chemical of your choice (the sawdust is so the wax will catch fire easier). The wax will dry up pretty quickly, and when you burn the pinecone, should still emit the colors just fine. You can also color the wax with crayons, so you know what color…