And what of cat ownership? I need to know so I reclassify myself properly.

I might be alone on this one, but the only degenerate criminals who ever sought to rob me of my God given innocence were white men.

Who's shaming? We're celebrating!!!!

Celine Dion. Remember those jumpsuits? The lady rocked sparkly cleft.

Overlord Denton! Hire this woman. She'll be less trouble than Daulerio, we promise!!

I'm pretty sure the Magic Wand can murder a clit like nothing else.

No, no. Thank YOU!

Why hasn't LaComtesse been hired yet?!?! She's GOLD!

This is one of my favorite Henry bits:

Only in my dreams.

Hey, girl!! Master of Science who left a career as an archivist to stay home with her kids over here! And I'm a Mt. Holyoke-educated feminist!!! I stayed home because it just made sense (temporally, financially) for me to do it — plus, I outwardly hated commuting and dealing with people at work. If you started a…

Oh my balls. Wow.

Holy crap!! I never saw the show (no cable) nor do I follow it (never cared to), but is his penis an actual cast member? Like, does it always literally appear in scenes like that?

Totally believable. I'm allergic to cleaning my oven and scrubbing the shower tiles. I try, honestly I do.Every time I begin, however, there's a nauseating wave of "fuck it" that washes over me and I have to stop.

Oh, get off it. They're humans and they can suck like the rest of us. I used to leave near an independent living house for people with Down Syndrome and other developmental delay for nearly ten years and would often encounter the residents in Waldbaums. They could be bitchy, snobbish, or downright assholes who would…

Flaxmeal? It works with baked goods.

Cooking for an allergy or dietary restriction is easy; making sure that the products that get cooked are safe is hard. My son has an eosinophilic disorder and can't have dairy. Any dairy. The smallest trace (in any form, caseinates, lactates, whey, and more) that gets into his system make him ill — and that means…

People like that don't exist in the Garment District anymore.*

Puppy piddle pads are the best. The. Best. Place one of those suckers under the kid when s/he sleeps, when you change her/him, during tummy time, etc., because they'll absorb whatever your kid spills out. AND — total bonus!!! — you can use them on your bed or couch to sop up all the post-baby blood and goo after you…

Wait!!! He was in yours, too? I had Desmond and Sayid in mine. Sayid was glorious.