I feel like the author thought, “This is the coolest guy in the world!!!!11!1!” But really he was corny and told dad jokes. Though I still liked the book for the brainless fun it provided.

In Europe, you’re basically an animal if you eat anything with your hands. I went to study abroad in Spain with a Spanish advisor and she super seriously told us that we shouldn’t embarrass her by eating french fries with our hands. I’m pretty sure I didn’t listen to her because that is bananas.

I had a roommate who died her hair brown and then purposely used my towels afterward so that hers wouldn’t get stained. She spilled nail polish on my coat and didn’t offer to replace it or have it cleaned. She also had horrible B.O. I was out on a date once and suddenly realized I smelled really, really bad. She had…

That happens in this book. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8235…

I have recurring nightmares about having to go back to high school. It’s not fun.

Sorta related, but my husband’s best friend used to date Limbaugh’s current wife. I now need to go take a shower because that leaves just four degrees of separation between the two of us.

I was forced to listen to him the other day, and I’m truly impressed by how much he is able to talk without actually saying anything. Gotta use up that airtime somehow.

But seriously though, she does hunch a lot.

Ugggghhhhhhh, I am SO SICK OF BREASTFEEDING! I just calculated it and I have breastfed for two years and nine months of my life. I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the past four years straight. I definitely need some freedom, but my current vampire has tons of allergies and hates food. I feel like I have…

Everyone’s different, but I’ve never found it painful. Take a class pre-baby, work with a lactation consultant in the hospital, and I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it. I think there was some discomfort when I started nursing my first kid, but it went away quickly. There is also lanolin ointment to prevent cracks.

I don’t drink ever, but I’m pretty sure you can still drink and breastfeed. You just have to time it right. Going with the whole “milk is blood” thing, alcohol dissipates from breastmilk in a similar manner.

My friend has super curly hair and she had a boss tell her she couldn’t wear it to work like that because it wasn’t professional. RUDE!

Stand up straight!

My parents were pretty terrible wedding guests. My mother insisted that my father not be allowed to come. My sister wanted to keep the peace, so she agreed. My father found out where the wedding was and showed up anyway. My mother caused a huge scene trying to get him kicked out.

That would leave some really interesting bruises.

At first I thought the idea was so gross, but it’s really just replacing one starch with another. Wheat on its own isn’t any more appetizing than beans.

People in my family keep buying the bunnies for my kids, except I don’t allow my kids to eat them. I guess it’s up to me. We can’t waste food, you know.

The black beans and sweet potatoes are just for texture. The taste comes from cocoa powder, maple syrup, and coconut oil.

I just remembered something actually helpful. These are fake brownies made from sweet potatoes and black beans. They are freakin’ delicious. I tell my kids they are “chocolate cake” and they completely believe me. I know you are having the gut reaction of “Ewwww no,” but just trust me that they are amazing. Also, I…