Applesauce does come in sugar free, btw. But other than that, I feel you. I tried to convince my kids to eat Fig Newtons because the first ingredient is Figs, but they still prefer Nutrigrain bars, which are basically glorified PopTarts.

What a hassle for you, but at least the restaurants get there stuff back. So weird.

I’m thinking of going to the store and just buying a bunch of v-necks in those colors. That’s all I ever want to wear and the three I have are getting destroyed.

My dad was on his honeymoon in the Bay Area recently, and he was telling me about eating at Chez Panisse, a kinda-famous restaurant.

This is my SAHM uniform: skinny jeans, v neck t-shirt in black/white/grey, and TOMS/flip flops. I’m trying for a cool, effortless, and casual look, and let’s just hope I’m pulling it off because I don’t know how to do anything else. Good luck on going back to work! If I had to go back, I would probably try to buy a…

I ALWAYS wonder if there is an orgasming spell and how that would affect wizard sex. Like, would it be boring because you could just point your wand at your partner and be done with it, or would it be awesome because everyone would leave happy?

I’m simultaneously impressed and terrified. Brava!

I have a scar on the back of my hand because I was IMing a guy I met on foreign exchange when the microwaved beeped downstairs to inform me that my Lean Cuisine was ready. I didn’t want to miss out on my time with sexy Roberto, so I tore down the stairs to grab it and hit my hand on the bannister on the way. Ah,…

I’m waiting for “Most disgusting work story,” or “Most dysfunctional family.” I would totally win those.

Just get Benefit’s They’re Real. It stopped all my smudging problems and I don’t have to do any special priming or setting.

I used to have the smudging problem on my upper and lower lids. I tried waterproof and lots of different brands until I finally found Benefit’s They’re Real. The only time I’ve ever had smudging with it is when I’m curling my hair because I’m simultaneously looking up for a long period of time and sweating. I’m really…

I love how he said he was “the first one here when nobody want(ed) to live here.” Like all the POC inhabitants were ghosts that didn’t even exist. Like it was Antarctica with absolutely no population. NOBODY. NOBODY lived there. Incredible.

Whenever I have a zit, my children try to wipe it off my face. Thanks, guys, for unintentionally ruining my self esteem.

What I find hilarious is that the people who think a Muslim president would enact Sharia law are the same people who think we already have a Muslim president. Soooo, is this what Sharia law looks like?

Ewwwww. They can’t even pretend they aren’t a Republican propaganda channel when they do shady stuff like that. I can’t believe people can complain about liberal media bias with a straight face.

You know how people talk about the “Gay Agenda?” Well, I’m pretty positive the “Conservative Agenda” is actually a thing. I feel like they must get memos every day because they all spout the exact same ludicrous garbage. Oh, it was posted on The Blaze/Fox News/Bristol’s Blog/etc? Well you know I’m pretty much going to…

I totally forgot about that. Miley, you had Liam Hemsworth. YOU GOTTA LOCK THAT DOWN.

Gotcha. I thought you were opposing me and I was soooo confused.

That’s not at all what I was intending to imply. Your father was a positive influence in your life, so he was a parent in word as well as deed. There are many “parents” who only qualify in name only.

Maybe she means after, when she was trying to sleep and he kept touching her without consent.