Why are the two objectives mutually exclusive? I am all for what you suggest happening *at the same time as* working to release abortion from the shackles of shame. No way can I wait for the utopia of perfect sex education and responsible choices before combating the stigma of abortion in order to make it an easier,…

Notice its merely the "language" that's insensitive and unacceptable, not the sentiments themselves. Flake ain't exactly coming out and disavowing the prejudice, just the words. It's a fun semantic game that actually lets him slide by without addressing the actual homophobia, racist and (likely) misogyny his son…

YES YES YES, you are the person I wanted to respond. My entire point is that we woman need to reclaim abortion as a non-stigmatized thing from even our sisters in the pro-choice movement. No caveats! Have an abortion ANY time you don't want to be a mother and we will support you!

But I think that everyone DOES accept this view. No one is denying ever that for many women it is morally problematic. The issue now is that THIS is the only dominant narrative in the pro-choice world. YOUR voice is always heard and brought up- because those at the forefront of the pro-choice movement AND those on the…

Fair enough, but I also think that sometimes to counteract an insurgency one needs to put aside ambivalence and go hard at your opponents. So I don't think it's that your feminist sisters can't hear you or disregard your point, it's that they need you to stop for a second and let them battle bigger forces.

But don't you think that those feelings of regret or ambivalence are ALREADY in the narrative? Because I do. I think they dominate the pro-choice landscape. That is what is currently acceptable to be talked about in the public domain when you are pro-choice- "you had an abortion, that's your right and we stand up for…

The irony for me was the fact that my 4 year bf and I had done the pull-out method for years before I decided to go on the pill- and I never got pregnant (and it was a highly sexual relationship so do the math ;). Then I decided to go on the pill (after Depo-Provera made me bleed for 40 days straight which made it…

Love that shirt! And no, I certainly don't think all adoptees feel that way, so that made it even harder to be rejected like that, because I never, ever expected it. But I should have- this was the same woman who loved our friendship in college when she'd come to my co-ed school from her all-women's college and I'd…

I see your point, but I also see kr99's, in that a lot of women saying "I would NEVER have one" while purporting to be pro-choice limits the overall argument. I think it fuels the idea of it being a baby when many women caveat their support. There is no reason when saying you are pro-choice to also offer up the "I…

To say nothing of one's female friends. When I had mine (under the most "forgiveable" of circumstances- failed Pill in a serious 4 year relationship), I told a close friend of mine who was appalled by my choice (she herself is adopted so I guess she has her own personal feelings). But it was not a wonderful thing to…

Or is it because they have been indoctrinated by society that only "bad" women have them? It's similar to those women who excoriate rape victims for what they wear- this way of saying "I would never be the one that happens to."

Amen, sister. I had one at 25 with my boyfriend of 4 years (we'd break up a year later unrelatedly). And it was the easiest decision I ever made and not once have I looked back. I don't do the "ohhhh, I'd have a 13 year old right now" hand-wringing, and never did. I am so grateful I had the choice (and great…

And we need to destigmatize abortion post-haste. We need to reclaim the semantic debate so that we pro-choicers don't ever concede ground by calling the other side "pro-life" (because, hahahaha!). We need more women who had one without any sense of conflict (as I am doing here, now) standing up and saying, I had one,…

Fascinating. And to your last point, her sister (noticeably browner, I guess, I try not to give them too much of my attention bc I fear for my blood pressure with so much antipathy) is partnered with a white man...that's got to be an interesting interfamilial dynamic, although (I guess to their credit? Gah, don't make…

A couple of those "beaner" examples were from people who appear from their handles to be Hispanic themselves: "Omar Molina" and "Rudy Lopez." Excuse any insensitivity as I am honestly curious: do we imagine they were using the term there the way black Americans have "reclaimed" the n-word, in which case, not the best…

Will this make me finally switch from the iPhone (I doubt it because I adore my iTunes music library being on one device I carry everywhere)? I asked all these same questions of Siri and she could not answer:

Ah, yes, the most powerful and effective way to deal with teenagers and sex:

People told Kim K to stay away from black men? Really? I mean, she's ALWAYS been with black men and, in fact, let one pee on her in her second, successful foray to fame. Also: is she considered white? Genuinely honest questions. I agree with everything else you said, and I am not Team Kanye or Anti-Kanye (not sure who…

What IS that all about? So many of my friends have the preternaturally adult, sweet, kinda dorky first child and the wild, semi-uncontrollable but insanely charismatic second. I lived that same scenario too, as did two of my college roommates (we are the elder children). Fascinating....

This.